That's My Decision, and I'm Sticking To It

The past few weeks have been very busy around here. I've been trying to slow down and enjoy the Christmas season, but lately slowing down seems next to impossible. Besides all of the normal routine things that take up a good deal of my time, I've also had the added stress of completing a Science Project with Amanda, planning holiday school parties, extra church choir practices and Christmas performances, school Christmas programs, Girl Scout and Boy Scout holiday activities, and adult Christmas parties to attend as well. In the midst of all of these holiday festivities, things that might normally be no big deal (like the microwave catching on fire, or the fact that the photo shop can't seem to print out our Christmas cards properly), seem to somehow add to my already higher-than-normal levels of stress and frustration. So, the fact that I've been trying to make a decision about where Samuel should go to school next year is not making things around here any easier for me.


A few weeks ago, Samuel and I toured a magnet school for children who are gifted in math and science. The staff members and teachers we met all seemed extremely nice and caring. In fact, the principal told me to call her directly with any further questions I had. The school offered several things that caught my attention. They have a planetarium in the school, as well as a green house. Each classroom has a pet, which the children share the responsibility of taking care of. They take field trips to places like NASA, Inner Space Caverns, The Alamo and our state capital. They also have 6 computers in every classroom at the tables for the children to use whenever they need to do so. Integrating computers into every day lessons is a big part of their curriculum. They also have the children work in groups of 4 children for their in-class assignments, versus having the children work separately. There are no worksheets allowed in the school. Everything is hands-on learning based. And there are 2 teachers in every classroom for 22 children. And even before I knew all of this, I somehow knew from the minute I hit the front doors of the school that I was in for a treat. I was impressed. I was thrilled at what I saw and was so excited at the thought of Samuel being able to attend such a wonderful school.


The magnet school concept is truly unique. Each classroom is comprised of 8 neighborhood students who do not meet the science and math magnet school admission requirements, but who simply live the closest to the school. And then there are an additional 14 students in each classroom who do meet the admission requirements for the math and science program. Needless to say, Samuel loved everything he saw at the school. I could not pull him away from a computer game that another boy had shown him while I was talking to one of the teachers. So, you can imagine my surprise when we got into the car to head for home, and I asked Samuel if he indeed wanted to attend this new school next year, and he said "No!" So, I pushed a little harder and asked some more questions. Despite the fact that I truly talked-up the new school, because I was truly excited about it, Samuel simply does not want to go.


And here is where my true dilemma as a parent lies. I've always said that I would never force my children to do anything like this that they simply do not want to do. My original intention in making that parenting decision was to allow my children to feel as if they have a true say in what happens to them in their own life. It is after all, their life. And while I realize that a child can not have the same reasoning skills as an adult, and they can not have the same level of experience and understanding that an adult can have, I also realize that sometimes it's okay to allow a child to make a decision when it comes to something that concerns them.

Somehow though, this decision seems much more different than any other decision I've had to make. I keep asking myself, at what point does a parent step in and say that even if their child does not want to do something, they're going to do it anyway because the parent knows best? And since I may never know the answer to that question, for now my decision about where Samuel should go to school next year is being based on a few very practical issues.

1) Both the magnet school and the school that Samuel is currently attending start and end their day at the same time. Which means that next year if Samuel went to the new school and Avery was still at the other school, I would somehow need to figure out how to get 2 kids to 2 different schools that are 6 miles apart at the same time in the morning, as well as how to pick them both up in the afternoon at the same time. It's a practical dilemma that I never really could figure out an answer to. At least not an answer that I felt like I could honestly live up to... Middle schools here start 10 minutes later than elementary schools, but all elementary schools start and end at the exact same time.

2) If Samuel started attending the magnet school and just absolutely hated it, we would have no guarantee that he would have an open spot to go back to at the school he's attending now... the school that Avery would still be attending.

3) Samuel has never wanted to change schools. He has no interest in attending the magnet school and seems to not really care whether or not he gets into the gifted and talented program. He's happy where he's at.

4) The "what-ifs" of the future (what if Samuel becomes bored with his current school situation, what if Samuel feels like he missed out on something big by not going to the magnet school, what if he never gets accepted again in the future, what if, what if, what if...) have never outweighed the positive things I know for sure right now about Samuel's current school situation. I may not know all of the answers to all of my "what-ifs" for Samuel's educational future, but this is what I know for sure right now; Samuel loves his current school and he is thriving there.

Which all comes down to this... Samuel is a gifted child. And when and if the time comes in the future that he wants to attend a magnet school, I will support him whole-heartedly. But for now, Samuel will not be attending the magnet school next year. That's my decision, and I'm sticking to it.