I Have What?

It seems like I haven't been on here in forever. It's amazing how quickly life becomes busy and just flies right by...

Life has become even busier in my home lately. I've been battling some health concerns. And I've been consumed with doctor's appointments, tests, and even more tests over the past several weeks.

So, to back-track just a bit...  Several weeks ago I had an incident occur that landed me in the ER. Boy, oh boy! I just thought I was busy before this incident occurred. But this thing knocked me down and forced me to slow down. Which caused my already busy schedule to get pushed back, and pushed back some more, and things started to pile up, and life kept telling me to slow down, but I kept asking how exactly I was supposed to just sit back and let that happen.

The incident... Ah, yes!  Hector was out of town on business (of course!), and I was awakened from a deep sleep. I sat straight up in bed and found myself gasping for air. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I sat on the edge of the bed for several minutes trying to catch my breath. The pain in my chest started to crawl up to my jaw. It started to feel like a burning sensation. I was dizzy and lightheaded. I made my way into the bathroom and sat on the side of the bathtub. I was gasping for air. And then, I felt sick and vomited... twice...  I laid on the bathroom floor for close to an hour, gasping for air, praying to God to help me get the strength to get to my phone.

By far the scariest incident I've ever been through!

I eventually got to my phone and called the triage line of my local ER. The nurse on the phone proceeded to ask me questions about my symptoms. About 4 questions in, she advised me to hang up and get myself to an ER immediately. She thought I was having a heart attack. The 3 nurses tending to me in the ER thought I was having a heart attack too. So did the attending physician. But, guess what? After 7 tests, it was confirmed that I did not have a heart attack. The attending physician advised me to follow up with a cardiologist though, because even though I hadn't experienced a heart attack up until that point, it didn't mean that I wasn't in the process of having a heart attack. Perfect!

I spent the next week in bed. I was physically exhausted. I was weak and couldn't seem to get my energy back. I was coughing almost non-stop. And I had horrible chest pain that would not go away. I thought that I was on the verge of having a heart attack. It was horrible. I finally had an appointment with a cardiologist a week after that incident. She ran more tests on me. I had 2 stress tests done; the first one came back abnormal, and the second one came back normal.  The cardiologist ordered a full body CT scan because I was still having chest pain.

The first time I had the CT scan done, my heart rate spiked up way too high and they couldn't get an accurate reading. So, I needed to have it done a second time. I don't wish this test upon anyone. It was scary. They injected medicine into my veins that made me feel like I was on fire. I lost all control of my bodily functions. I was in a giant tube. I couldn't speak because I was in so much pain. And they wonder why my heart rate spiked up as high as it did. Try to relax. Yeah, okay!  Sure thing. Go ahead and inject that junk into my veins again that makes me unable to speak because I'm in so much pain.  I'll relax...

Anyway, after the second CT scan, I went home and waited for the results. I finally saw my cardiologist again, who informed me that my heart was fine. I didn't have an underlying heart condition. Great news. But by that point, after the second CT scan, I'd had 11 tests done, all of which came back negative. I was fine. Really?!?! Every time another test came back negative, while I was thrilled to learn that I did not have that horrible thing going on with me that they were testing for, I was also left feeling more confused. I had chest pain every day. I was weak and tired all the time. Nothing was wrong? Really?

And that's when my cardiologist informed me that while my heart was fine, my lungs weren't. "Something was detected on your lungs." What? My cardiologist told me that her area of specialty was the heart, not the lungs. So, she wasn't going to try to speculate as to what that "something" was. She told me that she wanted me to see a pulmonologist, and then asked me how many years I had been a smoker.

Ummmm, I'm sorry... What?!?!

I've never been a smoker...

While I waited to have my appointment with a pulmonologist, I saw my General Practitioner, who ran a couple more tests on me (I was up to 13 tests in 6 weeks at that point). And we discovered that I have Regional Rheumatoid Arthritis that has calcified in my chest wall. She told me that the incident I had that landed me in the ER was more than likely an arthritic attack.  Rheumatoid Arthritis... an autoimmune disease which results in the body's immune system attacking its own tissues and joints. My autoimmune disease decided to come in the form of arthritis, focusing it's attention on attacking my chest wall and lungs...

Ten days after receiving that information, I had an appointment with a pulmonologist who informed me that on my CT scan, the "something" they found on my lungs is called Ground Glass Opacities. Ground Glass Opacities... a hazy area that develops on the lungs causing scaring.  My rheumatoid arthritis, which by the way, I had no clue that I had up until a few days prior, had caused a scaring on my lungs, which in turn had caused my lungs to become enlarged. The scaring and enlargement of my lungs had resulted in Paraseptal Emphysema. You read that right...  At the age of 41, having never had a smoking habit, I have been diagnosed with Emphysema.

I'll let that sink in for a minute...

Has it sunk in yet? Because I got that diagnosis five days ago, and I still don't know what to think about it.

So, the main reason for this blog post is to ask everyone reading this for a big favor. My pulmonologist wants to do another CT scan. He wants to compare my first CT scan to a new CT scan to see how quickly my Emphysema (still seems SO strange to say that) is progressing. Once he can compare the two different tests, he can come up with a plan of action and course of treatment for me.

The favor?  Will you all pray for me? My CT scan is scheduled for Monday, December 30, at 9:30 a.m.  This is the test that left me in tears the last time I had it done... the test that is so painful I couldn't speak. I'll get through it. But I'm praying that I will be able to stay calm so that they won't need to do it a second time like last time. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what this diagnosis means for me long-term. I've been diagnosed with something at the age of 41, having never smoked, that most long-term smokers find out they have much later in life after having smoked for many years.  It's weird and shocking.  My body is attacking itself...  I'm trying to put it in God's hands, but I will admit, this has shaken me.

So, I'm coming to you all as my friends, family and loved ones, asking you all to just simply pray for me.  The past several weeks have been a long, exhausting journey. Please pray for my kids and Hector too. Avery (my extremely observant and empathetic child) knows the seriousness of what's going on despite my best efforts to shield her from this new reality. I'm trying to find the balance between being honest and real with my children, and not telling them too much and scaring them half to death. But, Avery... dear, sweet, observant Avery, knows that when her mom spends an entire week in bed, and is coughing non-stop and can't catch her breath, and comes home with multiple Band-Aids and bruises all up and down her arms... she sees it all... she knows...  She shouldn't have this added stress at such a young age.

Thank you all, in advance, for your love and support.