No Slight Thing

It was June of 2003, and I was at Samuel's 2 year old well child check-up at our pediatrician's office. I was given a form to fill out, asking me where Samuel was at developmentally. He was right on track when it came to his physical development, but when it came to filling in the language and social areas, I started to struggle. I realized that something was not right. I remember thinking at the time that surely a 2 year old was not supposed to be speaking in 3 - 4 word sentences. Surely not! Samuel only had around a 10 word vocabulary, and he had never even put 2 words together, let alone 3 or 4. I left that appointment and immediately started making calls to find a speech therapist.

The first time the speech therapist (Kathy) came to our home, she asked me dozens and dozens of questions about what Samuel liked, and what he didn't like. The second time Kathy came to our home, she brought with her some of the things I mentioned that were Samuel's favorites things to play with. One by one, Kathy pulled Barney puzzles and Elmo books out of a big bag. She also pulled out bubbles. She placed all of the new toys on the floor in front of Samuel, and asked him which toy he wanted to play with. Samuel did not respond. Kathy pushed the items very close to Samuel and she moved to the other side of the room, turned her back to Samuel, and told him to pick 1 toy. He grabbed the bubbles. Kathy tried and tried over the course of 30 minutes to get Samuel to engage in some type of conversation with her about the bubbles. He never spoke a word. She left, with the bubbles, and I was left with a screaming 2 year old. The third time Kathy came to our home, she only pulled out the bubbles from her bag, and she sat on the floor directly across from Samuel. She told him that if he wanted to play with the bubbles, he needed to ask her for them first. As Samuel reached for the bubbles, Kathy pulled them back and told Samuel, you need to say "bubble." Over and over and over again, Kathy tried to get Samuel to say that one little word "bubble." Now, as a parent, I thought there surely had to be an easier way to get my child to speak. Watching your child scream for 30 minutes straight, only to have the therapist get up and leave with the bubbles, was exhausting. That same exact scenario happened for 2 more sessions. But at the next session, when Samuel saw Kathy come in and sit down on the carpet, he watched her pull out the bubbles. He walked straight over to her, sat down on the carpet, pointed and said "bu bu." Kathy looked up at me, and smiled at me. And then she went straight back to Samuel, giving him her full attention, and rewarded him by handing him the bubbles.

Week after week, I heard Samuel's language skills and vocabulary become bigger and stronger. And then one night, something amazing happened as Hector and I were putting Samuel to bed. We tucked him in, read him a story, sang him a song, and then as we were leaving the room, I bent over to kiss him, and I said "I love you." Now, this was nothing new, because from the time Samuel was a newborn, I'd been saying "I love you" to him every single time I put him to bed. But this time, Samuel said "I love you" back! He was almost 3 years old, and that was the first time he'd ever told me he loved me! That was his first sentence! And as Hector and I left the room, we embraced each other right there in the hallway outside of Samuel's bedroom. We didn't need to utter a single word to each other. We stood there, and both wept in each other's arms.

This past Friday, I attended my first Mothers of Preschoolers meeting for the year. I had the pleasure of meeting several new ladies. And after our group's guest speaker gave a speech on the legacy that we as Christian mothers should leave behind for our children, we were given some discussion questions. Our group leader read the first question aloud. "What has been the biggest surprise for you as a mother (something that perhaps before you had children, you thought would be one way, but since having children you have discovered is different than you thought it would be)?" One by one, the women in my group who were sitting around the table started telling about surprising experiences they've had as mommies. It was so amazing listening to all of them speak. Let's face it, motherhood is full of surprises. And as I tried to wrap my mind around all of the many surprises I've had as a mother, and as I tried to decide which surprise I wanted to share with the other ladies, it came to me......

The biggest surprise for me as a mother was that night, that night my son told me he loved me for the first time. It suprised me just how deeply it affected me as a mother to hear my child say those 3 little words. It surpised me at how hearing those words somehow gave me the strength to keep going, to keep fighthing, to keep pushing, not only for my son's benefit, but for mine as well. It was like he was trapped in a shell, just waiting to come out, but he wasn't strong enough to do it on his own! He needed help. And Praise God, he got the help he needed to finally be able to push his way out of his shell!

I never thought I would be the mommy of a child with a Sensory Processing Disorder. I never thought that I would see my child struggle with such simple, every day tasks. I never thought that activities geared specifically towards children would frighten my child. I never thought that having my child make eye contact would be such a big deal. I never thought I would need to explain so much to so many people about why my child is the way he is. I never thought that seeing my child give a family member a hug would become a life-altering event. I never thought I would have been able to help my child come through it all by seeking the help of a few great therapists who taught him valuable skills that have made him into the child he is today. I never thought I'd know so much information on Sensory Processing Disorders, and Autism Spectrum Disorders, and the social interactions of children, and language development, and the list goes on and on. I never thought I could have ever felt so supported by a group of mothers of preschoolers that I had just met.

Last week, as Hector, Samuel and Avery were leaving to go to work and school, Isaac said "I love you" to them. That was the first time he'd ever said that. And today, as I was putting Isaac down for his nap, I kissed him on the cheek, hugged him, and started to leave the room. And as I was walking out of his room, I turned back to him and said "I love you" and Isaac said "I love you" back to me. And the memories from the first time that Samuel said those 3 little words to me, all came rushing back. A flood of emotions consumed me. I stood there, and began to weep.

I think Charles Dickens said it best when he said "It is no slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us."

And so, what is the legacy that I would like to leave behind for my children? I would love for the legacy I leave behind for my children to be that even though I didn't do things perfectly, I did my best; that I was there for them when they needed me, and even when they thought they didn't need me; and above anything else, that I loved them deeply, with all my heart.

Tell your children that you love them. Tell your parents that you love them too. For it is no slight thing.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html