To My Son

Dear Samuel,

Fourth grade... it's been a difficult year for you. You've noticed certain things about yourself that make you feel different from your classmates. I want you to know that it is these differences within you that make you so special to me. But believe me when I tell you that I understand, when you are 10, feeling like you are different isn't always seen as a good thing. I want you to know that there isn't anything I wouldn't do to help make things in your life a little less difficult for you. Life at 10 shouldn't be this hard. I want you to build a strong character. And I don't want you to think that everything in life is going to be easy. But something tells me that you already know this. I want you to know that there are so many people in your life who want to help you too. They pray for you, and they ask me about you all the time. I want you to know how deeply loved you are. I want you to know that there are other moms out there who teach their children to love and to be kind to kids who seem different... kids who are struggling. I want you to know that even though there are kids who are stronger than you, that you are not weak. You are one of the strongest kids I know. I want you to know that no matter what your grades in school are, that I don't care what your report card says, because you are brilliant. And I want you to know that even though there are other kids who are more out-going and social than you, that you are the kindest, sweetest, and most loving child I know. Everyone who has the pleasure of getting to know you, loves you. That's how special you are.

The other day, you were asked to talk about something that makes you feel anxious or nervous while you're at school. You had no trouble coming up with something, and my heart ached for you. Then you were asked to talk about something that makes you feel anxious or nervous when you are in public places. Again, you came up with something almost immediately. And again, my heart ached for you. You even came up with something quickly that makes you nervous while you're on the playground. But when you were asked to talk about something that makes you feel anxious or nervous while you're at home, you didn't answer right away. After a little while, you were asked the same question again; what makes you nervous or anxious or sad while you're at home? When you responded, you said that there isn't anything at home that makes you feel that way, and that you feel happy and safe when you are at home. I want you to know that my heart rejoiced for you. There are some children out there who have no place where they feel safe and happy and loved. I always want you to feel that way about home. You will always have a place where you will feel safe. You will always have a place where you can feel relaxed and loved and accepted. And for as long as you will allow me to, you will always have my loving arms, ready and open to embrace you and make you feel safe, no matter what.

I want you to know that we will get through this. And I hope that one day, we can look back on this time in our lives and smile, and realize how much stronger it made both of us. I love you and thank God each and every day that He brought YOU into my life.

Mom

I've changed some of the words around in this piece by Erma Bombeck to make it more personal, but I wanted to share this with everyone. It was sent to me from my sister, Nina, and I felt it was worth passing along.

God Chooses A Mom for A Special Needs Child by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. But did you ever wonder how mothers of children with special needs are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

Armstrong, Beth; son; Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; Cecelia.
Rudledge, Carrie; twins; Gerard and Jerry.

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her this child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give such a special child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But has she patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and disbelief wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with this special child. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"So, what should I write? asks the angel, his pen poised in midair. God smiles. "I have heard her prayers. I will give her a son; Samuel."