Christmas, Lid'l Lee, and the New Year

Every year at Christmas, I remind myself how important it is to slow down and take the time to do things with my family that are truly the most important things in life, especially at the holidays. Over the past couple of years, our Christmas seasons have seemed extremely rushed. It felt like I would blink and before I knew it, Christmas was over. So this year, I promised myself that I would do better. And so, for the first time in 3 years, I purposefully left a weekend open to ensure that we would be able to attend our good friend's Angel Tree Party. We went. We had so much fun! We were able to catch up with dear, old friends. We shopped for 2 precious angels through Interfaith Housing Coalition. It felt really good to shop for 2 angels with our 3 children... to show our children firsthand that it is truly better to give than to receive, and that we have so much to be thankful for.

We also made time to drive through the living nativity scene, not just once, but twice. We love doing this, and I'm so glad this has become an annual tradition for our family.

And we also made a point to drive out to the Christmas tree farm and cut down our own tree. This is also a family tradition that we've been doing for the past 7 years. The kids always enjoy driving out there. And we love all of the wonderful memories and traditions that we get to help create as a family.

But just as soon as I thought that I was doing such a great job of slowing down and not getting stressed out by the holidays...

On December 21, I'd been running errands all morning long in order to get us prepared for our trip down to south Texas for Christmas. I came home around 2:00 that afternoon. And that's when I found my sweet kitty, not doing well. Around 9 months ago, Lid'l Lee developed a mass on her back. Our vet was going to remove it. But Lid'l Lee's pre-surgery blood work came back that she had an advanced kidney disease... her kidneys were failing. Putting her through surgery would almost assuredly kill her. The vet recommended I take her home and enjoy the remaining time we had left with her. I guess even though I saw the tumor growing and getting larger, somehow I didn't think Lid'l Lee was all that ill. I guess I felt that way because she was still eating and drinking just fine. So I guess that's why, even though the tumor had grown considerably larger over the 9 months since I'd first detected it, I was so shocked when I came home that day and saw her the way she was. I called the vet and she told me to bring her in immediately. They were waiting for me when I arrived. The vet told me that she would try to surgically remove the tumor... she would try to help Lid'l Lee under the circumstances. I hugged her and kissed her goodbye as the vet took her into the operating room. About 30 minutes later, the vet came into the room where I was waiting, and told me that Lid'l Lee was not going to make it. She told me that she could wake her up so that I could say my final goodbyes to her, or she could let her go peacefully without waking her up. I was allowed into the operating room, where I saw my sweet kitty. Gut wrenching sobs... I decided to not have the vet wake her up. Couldn't do it... She'd been through enough already. And so, just 21 months after having to say goodbye to Maisy, and just 7 months after saying goodbye to Molly, I said goodbye to my sweet Lid'l Lee as she drifted off into eternal sleep in my arms.

I miss her.

We all miss her.

Coming home with an empty pet carrier... you'd think I'd be able to handle it better by now. Telling the kids... draining.

The next morning, we all loaded into the car and drove down to south Texas for Christmas. The time we spent with our families was wonderful. I was reminded over and over again throughout our time down there that I am so blessed. I have this great big, wonderfully crazy family, whom I love so much. And I was reminded so many times of just how important it is to savor and enjoy every single moment that I get to spend with them.

I don't make it a habit to make New Year's Resolutions. But this year, well... after our time in south Texas for Christmas, we arrived home to an empty home. For the first time in 7 years, there was no soft, cuddly, meowing cat here to welcome us home. Three family pets, gone in less than 2 years. And so, with this new year, I'd like to resolve to make a concerted effort to just be with the people and things I love most in this life. To make my priorities just simply that... my priorities. To stop making excuses and just live my life doing what I love most, being with my friends, my family and my sweet dog, Maggie, just as much as I possibly can.