Quote of the Month

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Showing posts with label Samuel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Samuel. Show all posts

Monday, January 23, 2012

To My Son

Dear Samuel,

Fourth grade... it's been a difficult year for you. You've noticed certain things about yourself that make you feel different from your classmates. I want you to know that it is these differences within you that make you so special to me. But believe me when I tell you that I understand, when you are 10, feeling like you are different isn't always seen as a good thing. I want you to know that there isn't anything I wouldn't do to help make things in your life a little less difficult for you. Life at 10 shouldn't be this hard. I want you to build a strong character. And I don't want you to think that everything in life is going to be easy. But something tells me that you already know this. I want you to know that there are so many people in your life who want to help you too. They pray for you, and they ask me about you all the time. I want you to know how deeply loved you are. I want you to know that there are other moms out there who teach their children to love and to be kind to kids who seem different... kids who are struggling. I want you to know that even though there are kids who are stronger than you, that you are not weak. You are one of the strongest kids I know. I want you to know that no matter what your grades in school are, that I don't care what your report card says, because you are brilliant. And I want you to know that even though there are other kids who are more out-going and social than you, that you are the kindest, sweetest, and most loving child I know. Everyone who has the pleasure of getting to know you, loves you. That's how special you are.

The other day, you were asked to talk about something that makes you feel anxious or nervous while you're at school. You had no trouble coming up with something, and my heart ached for you. Then you were asked to talk about something that makes you feel anxious or nervous when you are in public places. Again, you came up with something almost immediately. And again, my heart ached for you. You even came up with something quickly that makes you nervous while you're on the playground. But when you were asked to talk about something that makes you feel anxious or nervous while you're at home, you didn't answer right away. After a little while, you were asked the same question again; what makes you nervous or anxious or sad while you're at home? When you responded, you said that there isn't anything at home that makes you feel that way, and that you feel happy and safe when you are at home. I want you to know that my heart rejoiced for you. There are some children out there who have no place where they feel safe and happy and loved. I always want you to feel that way about home. You will always have a place where you will feel safe. You will always have a place where you can feel relaxed and loved and accepted. And for as long as you will allow me to, you will always have my loving arms, ready and open to embrace you and make you feel safe, no matter what.

I want you to know that we will get through this. And I hope that one day, we can look back on this time in our lives and smile, and realize how much stronger it made both of us. I love you and thank God each and every day that He brought YOU into my life.

Mom

I've changed some of the words around in this piece by Erma Bombeck to make it more personal, but I wanted to share this with everyone. It was sent to me from my sister, Nina, and I felt it was worth passing along.

God Chooses A Mom for A Special Needs Child by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. But did you ever wonder how mothers of children with special needs are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

Armstrong, Beth; son; Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; Cecelia.
Rudledge, Carrie; twins; Gerard and Jerry.

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her this child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give such a special child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But has she patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and disbelief wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with this special child. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"So, what should I write? asks the angel, his pen poised in midair. God smiles. "I have heard her prayers. I will give her a son; Samuel."

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Good and The Bad Parts

Samuel's appointment with the Pediatric Neurologist went well. The doctor was very nice but she asked Samuel dozens of questions, which made him nervous. Eventually, he got overwhelmed, shut down, and stopped answering her. She did a physical exam and analysis of him that involved lots of eye contact and touching, which made him even more nervous. They also did an EKG which made him EVEN MORE nervous (it was at this point, when they started putting all the sticky pads all over his body, that he started to cry). That was the bad part.

So, here's the good part. The doctor said that at this point she feels it is too early to give a firm diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome. Considering that I was expecting her to take one look at Samuel and say, "Yep, he's got it!" I would say that this is the REALLY good part in all of this! Her main reason for saying it's too early to tell is because Samuel's had periods throughout the past year and a half where the ticks he was having at the time lessened or disappeared due to changes in his environment and/or diet and other conditions. She thinks that the ticks that Samuel has been exhibiting are just nervous ticks, and not necessarily Tourettes. And so for now, we will continue to hope and pray that these nervous ticks will eventually go away all together with a little help. If they don't, that's when the doctor will order more tests to be done.

And so, the doctor has recommended therapy (probably some form of play therapy) to help Samuel find positive outlets and ways of dealing with his stress and anxiety. She has also recommended medication to help alleviate his anxiety and ticks, and the discomfort that comes with them. We plan on researching this medication further, before we make a decision as to whether or not we will give it to Samuel.

With today's appointment, we feel that we have gained some sense of direction in all of this and that we are on a good path to helping Samuel work through this. And we feel really good about this doctor and her willingness to listen to us and work with us. We take Samuel back in a month to reassess. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Monday, October 17, 2011

For This Child

When I looked into the eyes of my newborn son for the very first time, I knew that he was THE child that I had prayed for. For THIS child, I prayed. This was the child I asked God to bring into my life. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for this child. And when he struggles in life, well, I want to do whatever I can to help him. You see, this child is my heart and my soul. And I hate seeing him struggle as much as he does... This child...


And so, here we are, going down a road that we've been trying to avoid for the past year and a half. And maybe we weren't even trying to avoid it, so much as praying that this child wouldn't have to go down it.


Tomorrow morning, we have an appointment with a Pediatric Neurologist to see if she can help us. Samuel has been displaying certain physical characteristics which lead us to believe that he may be struggling with Tourette Syndrome. Hopefully, this doctor will give us the answers that we are searching for. Hopefully, she will give us some sense of direction for this road that we are traveling down. We feel lost, quite frankly, and we are looking for answers to questions that have gone unanswered for far too long. Hopefully, she will be able to help this child that we love so dearly.


And so, I very humbly ask you to pray that God would direct our path when it comes to making decisions for this child, and that with this appointment, we will get the answers that we desperately crave. Most importantly, I ask you to pray for Samuel, for the peace that passes all understanding to guard his heart, mind and body throughout this entire process.



God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will. That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Goodbye

That's all, folks! It's done. Adios, Verano. Goodbye, Summer...
Today is the first day of school for Samuel and Avery. And despite the fact that we did not take any vacations, we had a wonderful summer and were all a little sad to see it come to an end. And since I have not posted very many pictures on here of our summer, here's a run down for you of the things that kept us busy...

Avery Bridged in Girl Scouts. She is no longer a Daisy. She is now a Brownie!

Upon receiving her Brownie Sash, Avery said, "This is going to be great. I love brownies!" :-)

Samuel earned his patches and is no longer a Wolf in Cub Scouts. He is now a Bear Cub! Rock on, Big Guy!

Avery celebrated her 7th birthday.

I made a garden cake and birthday pancakes, all for the birthday princess...
And Samuel celebrated his 9th birthday, complete with a cake that looked like a pepperoni pizza, made by yours truly.


I think Samuel liked the game that Hector picked out for his birthday, but it's so hard to tell from his expression... :-)

Avery got her ears pierced, and they looked SO cute! But they got infected and closed up a few months later. :-( Boo!


Hector got a new job!!!!!!!!!!!!! A new job with lots of great perks... Go Colgate-Palmolive!


We celebrated the 4th of July with Hector's family. Look at all those kids!

We welcomed a new member into our family.

Did a little gardening...

Went to the free local water park, A LOT!


Went to the zoo with my sister and nephew. Fed a few giraffes. Rode a camel named Isaac.


Went to Six Flags. Met Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman and The Green Lantern. Played a few games. Rode a few rides. Picked the hottest day of the summer to go. Sweated like fools but still managed to have a blast.

My car said it was 109 degrees, and I was inclined to believe my car...

Did a Pringles taste test, then Avery and I made some Pringles Purses.


Celebrated my 16th wedding anniversary. Went to a resort/spa while Grandpa and Grandma watched the kids (Thanks G&G!). Sat on the balcony and enjoyed the view of the lake. Had a couple's massage. Ate some really good food. Enjoyed every single minute!


Celebrated Hector's 39th Birthday with my mom and step-father. I bought him a new car.


Paid all of 97 cents for it!


Went to the Meet the Teacher night last week. Got a good feeling this is going to be a really great school year! And today, Samuel and Avery started school!

Come on, guys! Loosen up just a bit. Act like you love each other...

That's better!

This morning, dropping the kids off at school went just about as good as I hoped it would. Avery was very excited but a little nervous too. She held my hand so tight on the walk to her classroom, my hand was all red and sweaty. But she held herself together, and really did seem happy about getting back to school. Before we left the house, we said a prayer that God would help us all to not cry, to stay calm, and to be happy. After I dropped Avery off in her classroom, I took Samuel to his classroom. He was fine until I saw on the clock that it was time for me to go. I very calmly told him that it was time for me to leave. And Samuel said, "I know we prayed that God would help me to not cry, but I don't think the prayer is working." And he started crying... I had SO hoped for no tears this morning. So I knelt down beside him and told him what could have only been words given to me straight from God. "You know, Samuel, sometimes we ask God to help us not be sad and to not cry. But sometimes, God allows us to cry so that we can get rid of the sadness in our hearts and make room for the happiness that He has waiting to give us. Let go of the sadness and grab on to happiness." And with that, I said goodbye to my big 3rd grader...

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Tortillas and Pork Chops

Samuel is, amongst other things, an extremely picky eater. He wasn't always this way. When he was a 1 year old, he ate pretty much anything I offered him. But by the time he turned 2, he had taken on a bland "brown and white diet." His diet consisted of bread, crackers, bananas, cantaloupe, chicken, cheese, hot dogs, french fries, tortilla chips, and popcorn. I would joke with friends and family members that I could literally name all of the foods Samuel would willingly eat on my fingers... 10 things, that's all he'd eat. I never pushed him to eat anything else, because I'd been assured over and over again by our pediatrician that as soon as I made food an issue, it would be an issue. He assured me that this bland diet was common amongst toddlers and that if I let it go, eventually Samuel would start eating a broader range of foods again. And so, year after year I watched as Samuel continued to eat the same 10 foods. His diet remained the same until he entered school. After attending one too many birthday parties for friends where he had absolutely nothing to eat and sat around watching all his friends enjoying the food, he reluctantly added pizza, cake, cookies and ice cream to his diet. Great diet, right? Ugh...

When Samuel was around the age of 6 1/2, he caught a nasty stomach bug and winded up throwing up his dinner of hot dog, french fries and cantaloupe. In Samuel's black and white frame of mind, the hot dog, french fries and cantaloupe made him throw up, so he refused to eat those things again. Out of frustration, I asked around to several friends and family members, and decided that I would start putting 1 spoonful of each item I was making for the family meals onto Samuel's plate. Each and every meal, I would simply place the foods the rest of the family was eating on his plate. I wouldn't force him to eat them. I wouldn't even ask him to try them. I would just offer them to him, in the hopes that the recognition of the foods would eventually allow Samuel to feel comfortable enough to try the new foods.

Good plan? Maybe. But unfortunately, it did not work. From the very first time I placed a new food on his plate, Samuel started crying and screaming at every single meal. I kept offering the different foods, reminding him that he did not need to eat them, but each and every meal ended in tears from Samuel (and often times from me too). Meal after meal I remained persistent, hopeful that eventually the tantrums would end and that meal times would take on a more peaceful tone once again. But after 3 months (yes, 3 months of each and every meal ending in tears, literally), I finally gave up, and stopped putting the new foods on his plate at meal times. He never tried anything new. I was so defeated.

Things remained the same up until a month ago, when Samuel asked me if he could try a bite of something we were eating for dinner, and I just about fell out of my chair. I decided to just try the same game plan I tried 2 years ago, where I put the foods that the rest of the family was eating on his plate. And this time, there have been no fits... no meals ending in tears. But that's not the only thing that has been different this time around. Over the past month he's tried corn, spaghetti and oranges. He didn't like any of them, but he willingly tried them, which is a big step in the right direction in my opinion. Last week, he willingly ate an entire tortilla, and then proclaimed, "That wasn't so bad." And tonight, out of the corner of my eye I could see him eyeing the pork chop on his plate. Before I knew what was going on, he popped the bite of pork chop in his mouth, then continued to eat the rest of the pork chop. Then he asked me if I would put a pork chop on his plate tomorrow night. "Uh yes, Big Guy, I can do that for you."

I know it might be silly, but I literally started clapping and giving him high-fives when he was done. Everyone at the table started clapping for him. And he was so happy about it too. I mean, the fact that Samuel has tried 2 new foods in the past week and actually liked both of them, is quite exciting to me. I am just so hopeful about this.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Beauty is...

A few weeks ago, I wrote this blog about the fact that Samuel had written a poem for a poetry contest at school. The theme for the contest was "Beauty is..." Here is Samuel's poem:

Beauty is...
Bold
Elegant
Artistic
Unicycle
Television
Youth

And while I thought Samuel's poem was wonderful, I was a little concerned that the judges might get stuck on one of the words (unicycle, in particular). I really hoped the judges could look past some of the more obvious/typical words that he could have used, like unity or universe. And you know what, they did! Samuel won an Honorable Mention award for his poem!!! Samuel won 1 of only 8 awards that were given out.

I'm so proud of him! I am a proud mommy! :-)

Monday, November 9, 2009

What's A Wampanoag?

I didn't have a clue what a Wampanoag is, until this past Saturday...

Each Friday afternoon, Samuel comes home from school with a list of vocabulary words for homework. He's supposed to learn the words. And he's not just supposed to be able to read them and spell them correctly. He's supposed to have a good idea of what the definitions or meanings of the words are, and he's also supposed to be able to use the words correctly in a sentence. He has the weekend to work on the vocabulary list, and then he is expected to be able to read them to his teacher by Tuesday of the following week. After that, he's expected to be able to spell them correctly and use the words accurately in composition sentences on a spelling test on Thursday. Samuel's got a great vocabulary, and the few words he has struggled with in the past, after I tell him once how to pronounce it and what it means, he remembers it. I am always so impressed with his vocabulary and memorization skills.

BUT... I've noticed over the past couple of weeks that the words coming home on the lists are getting really difficult. This week's list has topped them all. This is the list:

1) Native American
2) Powhatan
3) Sioux
4) Pueblo
5) shelter
6) tepees
7) adobe
8) tradition
9) Europe
10) explorer
11) colony
12) colonist
13) Wampanoag
14) Squanto
15) harvested
16) Independence
17) American Revolution
18) pioneer
19) transportation
20) slavery

Now people, Samuel's in 2nd grade!!! He's 8... I'm 37 years old, and I've got to tell you, I didn't have a clue how to pronounce #2 and #13. And coming up with definitions off the top of my head for some of these words was, quite frankly, rather difficult for me. How on earth am I supposed to help my child, if I don't even know what some of these words are? Enter http://www.dictionary.com/. Seriously, what did parents do before The Internet and Dictionary.com? On their website, they have this cute little icon that looks like a speaker. When you click on that icon, it pronounces the word for you. How super helpful is that?!?! Anyway, I am happy to say that I did initially pronounce Wampanoag correctly. But I missed the mark on Powhatan... I don't know, but I'm thinking this is a little excessive for 2nd graders. I mean, if I were trying to learn a new language, I'm not sure that I could learn 20 new words and their meanings, how to use them correctly in a sentence, how to spell them correctly and how to pronounce them correctly, all within 4 days! I mean, Powhatan... Sioux... Pueblo... Adobe... The list might as well have read ερυθρόδερμοι Δείτε επίσης; διπλό αντίσκηνο, and αποικία, because most of those words looked Greek to Samuel. Goodness, I am honestly not looking forward to next week's list! I'm anticipating the words maize, cornucopia, voyage, Massasoit, and Plymouth to rear their ugly little heads! :-)

Now, go learn something new today! Hope everyone has a great week!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Super Sam, Speed Reader Extraordinaire

Today, Samuel took his end-of-year TPRI test at school. His teacher emailed me and said that she "clocked him" reading at 130 words per minute. The end-of-year goal for 1st graders is 60 wpm. She also said that he answered all 8 comprehension questions correctly. Super!


In the past, Samuel's asked me about a hundred times, "If I was a Super Hero, what do you think my name would be and what would my super power be?" I'm thinking about making him a cape for his 8th birthday, and having the words "Super Sam, Speed Reader Extraordinaire" embroidered on it!


Super Sam, Speed Reader Extraordinaire... Able to read an entire book in the blink of an eye... Able to dazzle teachers and grandmas all over the world with a single smile... Able to tell knock-knock jokes like no other 7 year old in the history of knock-knock joke-telling ever has before... Able to devour an entire large pepperoni pizza in 1 sitting, and then turn around 15 minutes later and ask "What's for snack?"... Able to completely vanish from sight faster than a speeding bullet when bath or bed time is declared!