National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

I know this is my second post in a day. And while I usually try to avoid doing this, the fact is that I need to blog about this. October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. And today, October 15, is the day in which we are asked to remember all of those who have loved and lost a pregnancy or an infant, by lighting a candle at 7:00 p.m. This is something very personal to me for many reasons. You see, I have loved and lost. Over 9 years ago, after trying for over 5 years to get pregnant, I lost my first pregnancy in my 11th week. And even though the pain and loss I felt at the time was very real, and even though I still hurt inside when I think about what happened to me and my husband.... agh... I can not even type the words here. It hurts me, still, after all these years to think about it. And yet, I simply can not get 2 truly amazing friends off my heart today. I have 2 friends who have lost their infants. I simply can't imagine. In my heart, I know that I am a mom of 4 children, but I never got to hold one of my children. I never gave him or her a name. I never really knew that child. But my 2 friends did. And so tonight, in remembrance of Ziggy, Zane, and my little peanut, I will light a candle and say a prayer. And I will remember all of those who have loved and lost.