A Happier, Healthier Patty

I am a planner. And a saver. I am the type of person who will spend an hour planning my grocery shopping trip, looking through sales fliers and clipping coupons, to save my family money each week on our groceries.

I shop end-of-season clearance sales to get winter coats or swimming suits for the kids, sometimes in sizes that are years off in the future, in order to save money.

When Samuel outgrows clothes, I save them for Isaac.

When Avery outgrew her beautiful dresses when she was an infant and toddler, I saved them in a keepsake box, because I am planning on having a granddaughter one day!

I will save the last little bit of cooked veggies, the chicken stock, and half of a chicken breast from dinner, pop them in the freezer, and take them out one day and make homemade chicken soup.

I keep things. I save things. I plan ahead. It's who I am.

As some of you may know, I've been on a journey over the past several months to adopt and maintain a healthier lifestyle, and in the process, hopefully lose some weight too. In the past when I have lost weight, I've always found it difficult to rid myself of clothes that became too big for me. I suppose this is because, as I've stated previously, I save things and plan ahead. What if I gained all the weight back, and I couldn't afford to run out and buy all new clothes? Horror!

As a result, over the years I have accumulated many different sizes of clothes, that have all taken up permanent residency in my closet. And it's been that way for many, many years.

But recently, I've come to realize that while it can be a good thing to hang onto some things and plan ahead for some things in life, sometimes it can also be downright unhealthy.

I don't want to plan on ever going back to the weight and size that I was when I first made the decision to do better for myself. I don't want to save a closet full of clothes that remind me every single day when I walk into my closet of just how unhealthy I allowed myself to become at one point in my life.

And so today, I hope that you all can appreciate just how difficult it was for me to do this...

Over 100 articles of clothing, in 3 different sizes, that are all too big for me. I'm getting rid of them all! No turning back!

As I look forward and plan for the future, I am hopeful that I can continue to plan and save in a more positive, healthy way. There's no need for me to hang onto the past and hang onto all of these clothes, because I don't plan on ever going back to the way I was before I started on this journey. Here's to a happier, healthier me!

Real Beauty

I received a rather strange compliment yesterday. The man who was my cashier at the grocery store asked me if he could give me a compliment. I won't tell you everything that he said. But the basic gist of what he said was that he thought too many women today aren't real. They have fake hair color, fake hair, fake eye lashes, fake make up, fake tans, fake finger nails, and fake bodies. Those are his words. He told me that my "realness" was beautiful. He went on to say that most men don't want or need women to do all of the things that they do to themselves to try to be beautiful in a fake way. Most men find our real beauty much more beautiful, but they allow us to do everything that we do because they know it makes us feel better about ourselves. Again, those are his words. It kind of caught me off guard. All I could think to say was that my husband likes my "realness" too, and that I'd be sure to tell him when I got home exactly what he'd said to me...

 

After I got home, I started thinking some more about what this man had said to me. You see, I'd ran to the store early that morning in an attempt to beat the Saturday morning grocery store crowd. I was sporting my mommy pony tail, with just enough concealer underneath my puffy morning eyes, with some plain Chapstick on. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans... nothing fancy. Definitely not my best outfit. Was that the real me?

 

I thought about all of the times that Hector has complimented me. I've been blessed with a husband who knows that I like receiving compliments. But when I really dug deep, trying to think about the best, most meaningful compliment Hector has ever given me, I remembered this moment.

This picture was taken after I had been awake for close to 21 hours straight, 16 1/2 hours of which I'd spent in active labor with Samuel. I had a very specific birth plan in mind when I was pregnant with Samuel. My birth plan did not involve going past my due date, nor did it involve having my labor induced because my blood pressure was out of control. It did not involve my baby, after 16 hours of labor, going into distress. It did not involve an epidural. And it also definitely did not end with an emergency c-section. That was not my plan. But as I laid on the operating table, praying that Samuel was safe, waiting to finally meet him, I started to shake and cry. The true weight of everything that had occurred that day swept over me. Over 6 1/2 years of waiting to meet my baby had finally all come to that moment in time. I started to bawl. Deep, uncontrollable, slobbery wails of emotion flowed freely from me. After Samuel was born, Hector went to take this picture. But before he did, I asked him how I looked. He leaned over and kissed me tenderly, and told me that I'd never looked as beautiful to him as I looked at that moment. And he meant it. 

 

No make up. Red, swollen eyes. Wearing that awful hospital gown. Holding our miracle.

 

Can you think of a time in your life when you have received a truly meaningful compliment? Was it at a time when you were all dressed up, when your hair was perfect, and your make up was flawless? Or was it at a time when you were having a completely "real" moment in your life? Perhaps it's time for me to rethink what my definition of real beauty is.

 

Patty

1987

Twenty-five years ago today, that sixteen-year-old boy on the right took that fifteen-year-old girl on the left out on their first date.  After the date, he asked her to be his girlfriend.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

Stories from where?

Some of you may find this equally as interesting as Hector and I have found it...

 

As most of you know, Samuel is attending a charter school through the public school system.  When he first started attending this school several weeks ago, he was reading Charlotte's Web for his Literature class.  But two weeks ago, he was assigned to read a story out of a book entitled Stories From the Bible.  From where?  Yes, the Bible.  Two weeks ago he read the story of Ruth and Naomi.  Interesting...   Last week, he was assigned to read the story of David and Goliath.  Even more interesting...

 

So, tonight I clicked on his curriculum list for the upcoming school week, and I saw that I had this message attached to the Literature lesson for the week:

 

Lesson Notes

A distinction needs to be made between, on one hand, teaching the Bible as a guide to belief, and, on the other hand, teaching stories from the Bible as literature. Teaching the Bible as a guide to belief is a religious task that belongs to the family (if the family so chooses) or the church. Teaching stories from the Bible as literature—which is the goal of these lessons—is an educational task intended to promote cultural literacy. As E. D. Hirsch, Jr. explains in

The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy (2nd edition, Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1993), “No one in the English-speaking world can be considered literate without a basic knowledge of the Bible.” Stories, characters, and expressions from the Bible are woven into the fabric of English, in everything from a sportscaster’s casual allusion to an uneven match as a “David and Goliath contest” to the poetry of Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Milton.

Like I said, I find it very interesting how the school has worked this into the curriculum.  Yet another reason that I am loving this new school.

Change

After weeks of trying to decide how to begin this post, I have come to realize that the best way to share this news is to simply come right out with it...

A few weeks ago, Samuel had his last day at the school he has attended since Kindergarten.  He was accepted into a wonderful charter school that allows him to take classes online, at home.  This new charter school is providing Samuel with a home-based public school education.  He follows the same curriculum as other students in traditional public schools.  He has teachers who conduct webinars of his classes, and Samuel, along with all of his other classmates, attend online classes daily.  He has monthly field trips with all of the children in his class.  And so far, things have been going really well!

This was not a decision that we made lightly.  It was a decision made with a lot of prayer, and tears, and heavy hearts and minds.  For several years now, we knew that Samuel was not thriving in his current school setting.  It had nothing to do with the school, or the teachers, or the staff.  It had to do with the fact that not every kid fits inside a box.  And it had everything to do with the fact that ultimately we needed to find something for Samuel that was going to be the very best educational experience long-term for him.

So, I get to be at home during the day, all alone, with just Samuel now.  This is something that I have not experienced in years.  I was scared at first.  I can admit it.  But it has been amazing!  I get to discuss literature with him.  We talk about great pieces of art.  We talk about why learning how to add and subtract numbers with decimals in them will serve him well later in life, like when he has to pay for things or make change.  But honestly, the absolute coolest thing for me has been seeing the transformation that has been occurring in my son.  The shyness and anxiety and uncertainty is slowly fading.  And this really smart, confident kid is starting to come out.  I have seen the sparkle return to his eyes.

I've had so many wonderful moments in the past few weeks that have affirmed for me that we made the right decision for Samuel.  I am truly thankful for each gift of affirmation that I have received.  It's not always easy to make such a big change.  I struggled with feelings of doubt at first as to whether or not we were making the right decision.  And I struggled with whether or not I should write this blog.  But ultimately I decided to write it because I know that so many of you reading this have listened to me for many years now talk about Samuel and school.  You've listened to me.  You've offered your prayers, your advise, and your words of encouragement.  It has all been tremendously helpful, and greatly appreciated.

Embracing the change,
Patty