Real Beauty

I received a rather strange compliment yesterday. The man who was my cashier at the grocery store asked me if he could give me a compliment. I won't tell you everything that he said. But the basic gist of what he said was that he thought too many women today aren't real. They have fake hair color, fake hair, fake eye lashes, fake make up, fake tans, fake finger nails, and fake bodies. Those are his words. He told me that my "realness" was beautiful. He went on to say that most men don't want or need women to do all of the things that they do to themselves to try to be beautiful in a fake way. Most men find our real beauty much more beautiful, but they allow us to do everything that we do because they know it makes us feel better about ourselves. Again, those are his words. It kind of caught me off guard. All I could think to say was that my husband likes my "realness" too, and that I'd be sure to tell him when I got home exactly what he'd said to me...

 

After I got home, I started thinking some more about what this man had said to me. You see, I'd ran to the store early that morning in an attempt to beat the Saturday morning grocery store crowd. I was sporting my mommy pony tail, with just enough concealer underneath my puffy morning eyes, with some plain Chapstick on. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans... nothing fancy. Definitely not my best outfit. Was that the real me?

 

I thought about all of the times that Hector has complimented me. I've been blessed with a husband who knows that I like receiving compliments. But when I really dug deep, trying to think about the best, most meaningful compliment Hector has ever given me, I remembered this moment.

This picture was taken after I had been awake for close to 21 hours straight, 16 1/2 hours of which I'd spent in active labor with Samuel. I had a very specific birth plan in mind when I was pregnant with Samuel. My birth plan did not involve going past my due date, nor did it involve having my labor induced because my blood pressure was out of control. It did not involve my baby, after 16 hours of labor, going into distress. It did not involve an epidural. And it also definitely did not end with an emergency c-section. That was not my plan. But as I laid on the operating table, praying that Samuel was safe, waiting to finally meet him, I started to shake and cry. The true weight of everything that had occurred that day swept over me. Over 6 1/2 years of waiting to meet my baby had finally all come to that moment in time. I started to bawl. Deep, uncontrollable, slobbery wails of emotion flowed freely from me. After Samuel was born, Hector went to take this picture. But before he did, I asked him how I looked. He leaned over and kissed me tenderly, and told me that I'd never looked as beautiful to him as I looked at that moment. And he meant it. 

 

No make up. Red, swollen eyes. Wearing that awful hospital gown. Holding our miracle.

 

Can you think of a time in your life when you have received a truly meaningful compliment? Was it at a time when you were all dressed up, when your hair was perfect, and your make up was flawless? Or was it at a time when you were having a completely "real" moment in your life? Perhaps it's time for me to rethink what my definition of real beauty is.

 

Patty