Decisions, Decisions

As a mother, from the moment your child is conceived, you have to start making decisions about your child's life. When you're pregnant, you try to make the best decisions for the child growing inside of you. Do you drink caffeine or do you give it up? Do you continue to color your hair or do you let the gray hairs show? Do you eat a well-balanced diet or do you give in to your cravings and eat Taco Bell 3 times a day (sometimes 4)? Do you try for a natural birth or do you insist the doctor give you pain medicine from the moment he announces you're in labor? And after your baby arrives, there are even more decisions to be made. Do you circumcise your son, do you pierce your daughter's ears, do you co-sleep, do you quit working outside the home, do you breastfeed or bottle feed, do you make your own baby food or buy Gerber, do you follow your pediatrician's immunization schedule or insist on spreading them out more, and so on, and so on... I once heard a pregnant friend of mine say that she thought her child's first year of life was going to be the hardest, and all I could think to say back was "Then just wait until your child turns 2 and learns how to say no!" The toddler years open up a whole new world of decisions that you must make as a parent, such as disciplining and punishing your child, when to take the pacifier or bottle away, when and how to potty train, when to take them out of the crib, when to enroll them in preschool, and so on, and so on... And from there, the decisions seem to only get more and more complicated and difficult to make because you know that the decisions you make for your child will ultimately form your child into the adult they will become. These are the decisions that will create the memories they will take with them throughout their entire lifetime. These are the decisions that will shape their faith, their character, their mental and emotional stability, and their overall perception of the world and the people in it. I admire those parents out there who don't sweat their parental decisions. They make them with great clarity and thoughtfulness, and they never second guess themselves. I am unfortunately not one of those parents. I second guess my decisions all the time. I over-think everything. I let myself get tension headaches that last for days and weeks. I think about things over and over, and then I think about them some more, and then I ask everyone I know to help me think about it some more and then tell me what they think too!

Some of the most recent decisions Hector and I are facing as parents involve whether or not we allow Isaac to go into his second year of life still drinking from a bottle at bed time, and exactly what information is enough information to tell Avery when she comes home from school and asks about things she overheard the other 5 year old little girls giggling about on the playground, and which computer games and websites do we allow Samuel at the age of 7 1/2 to have access to. Samuel's a smart kid. He'll read a magazine or watch a cartoon or see a new movie, and he will memorize the websites that they ALWAYS have on there. And then he'll get on the computer, and I'll find him playing some Kung Fu ninja game that I've never seen before where he's trying to see how many times his Ninja guy needs to kick the dragon in the head before it dies! AGH! His latest website "find" involves a computer game where all of the characters have something to do with some type of illness. It's the craziest thing. One character has a car shaped like a nose that shoots, you guessed it, snot out of the nostrils at the "bad guys." Another character is a grandmother figure who's car is in the shape of a large stockpot, and she gets to fling chicken noodle soup from a big wooden spoon at the "bad guys." Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? Well, apparently the creators of a very popular cartoon on PBS think that this game is great for children, since they publicise it all over their station during after school cartoons. I guess they think it's good since it teaches kids about health...

But the decision about whether or not we should allow Samuel to shoot snot out of a nose-shaped car seem so trivial lately :-) because Hector and I are being faced with an even bigger decision: What school should we send Samuel to next year? It would seem that the local Science and Math Gifted and Talented Magnet School has reviewed Samuel's grades and test scores, and 2 weeks ago they sent us a letter because they wanted us to know that he has been "pre-qualified" for admission for the next school year. Hmmm... Up until last week, I never even thought about the possibility of sending Samuel to another school next year, let alone a Science and Math Magnet School. And so, if I've spoken to you about this in the past couple of weeks, I truly thank you for listening to me and giving me your opinion, because I am sweating this decision. And I say "I" because Hector is one of those amazing parents who does not sweat decisions like this. But because Hector and I make most of our parental decisions together, I am unfortunately the only parent left to make up my mind... I'm taking Samuel tonight to the school's open house. I am hoping that once Samuel and I are actually in the school and meet the teachers and staff, that Samuel and I will just know what we're supposed to do. At least, that's my hope!

My inner mommy voice is saying "Don't fix it if it isn't broken." He's doing really well at his current school, better than I ever could have hoped he'd be doing. He knows the teachers, he's made a couple of friends, he's comfortable there, and he likes it. Why would I even consider taking him away from that? Well, I'd take him away from that because he has an opportunity to attend an even better school, with even better teachers, and an awesome curriculum, one that would be geared towards his gifted areas. I'd take him away from his current school to allow Samuel to have an amazing educational experience. I'd take him away from his current school because he might just realize that he has a gift, and he might just find some really amazing friends who are a lot like him.

I never want to regret this decision. And so I ask for your prayers as I search my heart (and mind) about what I should do. This is not the first difficult decision I've had to make on Samuel's behalf, and something tells me it won't be the last...

I Am Truly Thankful

For my Heavenly Father up above,

Who sent his son Jesus, in the ultimate display of unmerited love.

I am truly thankful.

For my wonderful husband of 14 years who's never afraid to show,

That his love for me over the years only continues to grow.

I am truly thankful.

For my oldest son who reminds me each and every day,

That miracles do come true to those who pray.

I am truly thankful.

For my only little girl who takes such joy in life's simplest things,

Like baking cookies, painting toe nails, and having a song to sing.

I am truly thankful.

For my precious gift of laughter who is oh-so-very-sweet,

Who came into my life in such an exciting way, and somehow just made our family complete.

I am truly thankful.

For my church, my home, my health, for my friends and family,

And for the numerous other blessings in my life which mean the world to me.

I am truly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving With Love,

Patty

The Story of the Starfish

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a young boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?" and the young boy replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going back out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die.""Now listen to me," said the man, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!"

After listening to what the man said, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the ocean. Then smiling at the man, the boy said, "I just made a difference to that one."
Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in situations where we have to make a choice; do we walk away and do nothing, or do we stay and do our small part? Last week, Hector was asked to make such a decision. In Cub Scouts there are small groups of 8 - 10 boys, which make up a den. And then all of those smaller dens in the area come together once a month for a meeting, and they form a larger pack. Hector was asked if he would be Den Leader for Samuel's Cub Scout Den. It seems that the previous leader wasn't doing that good of a job, and the Pack Leader (who's in charge of all of the smaller dens) noticed how involved Hector is, and how "on top of things" he seems to be at the meetings. And even though Hector really did not want to take over, because it's a big, time-consuming responsibility, he did!

A few entries back on here, I mentioned just 2 of the many things I am thankful for this year. And now, I would like to add a few more things to my list. I am thankful for Hector, who is not only the best husband a woman could ask for, but who is a great father as well... a father who is making a difference in the lives of our 3 "starfish"; a father who hugs his kids and tells them he's proud of them and that he loves them; a father who sings Away In a Manger every night to Avery and who puts on the Elmo DVD for Isaac instead of watching the football game; a father who knows how to change poopy diapers and make bottles; a father who cleans up vomit out of a tent at 2:00 a.m. while on a camping retreat with his son, and then laughs about it when he's telling the story later; a father who comes home every night and eats dinner with his family; a father who sets a good example; a father who provides for his family; a father who tells his daughter that she is beautiful and smart; a father who tells his oldest son that he can do anything if he just puts his mind to it; a father who knows how to make his kids laugh; a father who listens to his children; a father who talks to his children; a father who takes his kids to the store and does the grocery shopping so that Mommy can have a little break; a father who is willing to serve as Den Leader for his son's Cub Scouts; and a father who is willing to put forth the time and energy to make a difference in the lives of all 3 of our "starfish."

I am thankful that he is willing to do things like this for Samuel and the other boys in his den:
Isn't he just the best trash bag and construction paper turkey you've ever seen? And while I'm at it, I am thankful for that wonderful turkey up there, who I am proud to call my husband. I am thankful for the 14 years we've been married. And I am also thankful for our 3 children who are really good kids, and who still enjoy doing things like playing in the Autumn leaves.

For all of these things, and for so much more, I am truly thankful.

Good Girl!

It was December of 1996, and Hector and I had just moved from Irving to Dallas. We moved into a duplex, and finally had a backyard. So a few months later, knowing how much I wanted a dog, Hector decided that he would get me one for my 25th birthday. We decided to go to the local Humane Society to look for a small dog. I found a Shih Tzu that I thought looked sweet, right up until it snapped at me when I tried to pet it. And since no other dogs were catching my eye, we decided to leave. But as we were leaving, I saw her... the cutest little black puppy I'd ever laid eyes on! She was 8 weeks old, and weighed only a few pounds, abandoned by her mother, all alone, there she was... When the employee opened her kennel, I picked her up, and she started licking my face. It was love at first sight!!! And as we signed the adoption papers, the employee laughed and told us "That little dog's a handful. She might be small, but she gives the big dogs in the yard a run for their money. I bet she's going to give you a run for your money too." You know how they say love is blind? Well, sometimes Hector and I wish we would have been able to look beyond her cute little face and taken those words a bit more seriously... We named her in the car on the way home. We started calling out dog names, and she never once responded, until I called out the name Molly. She looked up at me and started wagging her tail. Molly was the name we gave her. Actually, her full name is Miss Ta'Molly Polly Pockets Acevedo, but we just call her Molly!

And yes indeed, Molly did give us a run for our money. Any time we needed to catch Molly to put her in her kennel, she would start running at full speed all over the duplex. She could not be caught, she was way too fast! Hector and I would literally corral her into the kennel, using baby gates. She ate more pairs of socks, shoes, hats, CD cases, books, magazines, VHS tapes, hair pony tale holders, blankets, dog beds, and dog toys than I care to recall. She also did a good amount of damage to the duplex we lived in. We replaced the linoleum flooring in the kitchen 3 times because she liked to dig and dig and dig until it came up, and then she would eat it. Crazy dog! She also liked to dig holes in the carpet. And for some odd reason, she would eat the walls. Yes, she would eat the walls! Then there was the time she decided to jump from the top of the outside staircase to the concrete floor below her. Or the time that I had just finished cooking dinner, sat my plate and Hector's plate on the table, and went back into the kitchen to grab something. But when I got back to the table, my pork chop was gone, and Molly was hiding under the table. Oh, the memories!

So, you can understand why we decided to get a 2nd dog... Actually, my mom called me one day in April of 1999, and told me that there was the sweetest little dog that had been abandoned in the park that she was staying at. She was leaving, and wondered if I could come get the dog and at least put the word out to see if anyone wanted her. She hated to leave the dog there alone. And I agreed with her. So, Hector and I made the hour long drive and picked her up. We immediately drove to our vet, who told us that she thought it would be a good idea to welcome another dog into our home. It might make Molly calm down and give her a friend to play with to help release some of her energy. And because Hector and I were at a particularly low point, having just suffered a great loss in our marriage, we decided to "adopt" this dog too. The dog was covered in fleas and ticks. She had mud crusted in her ears. She was filthy. She had an eye infection, and urinary tract infection. She also had a mass in between her front legs that would need to be surgically removed and biopsied. And while the vet was at it, she also needed to be spayed. When it was all said and done, that adorable little "free" mutt cost us well over $1000 in medical bills. Ah, the good old days when we could actually afford to spend $1000 on a dog's medical bills and not even think twice about it! :-)

There was a relatively new Dr. Seuss book out at the time that I absolutely loved reading to the children in my day care. And so, the dog's name became Maisy, after the book Daisy Head Maisy. Later, we started calling her Crazy Maisy because she tends to be a little neurotic about things like eating her food directly out of the bowl. Maisy prefers to take several pieces of food in her mouth, go somewhere and hide, spit the food out onto the floor, and eat it one piece at a time. Quite an endearing little trait that Maisy still exhibits to this day. She's also a little crazy about walking around corners - she just can't do it! And whenever it rains, she becomes a total and complete mess. She also loves digging holes in the backyard, which earned her another nickname... Miss Piggy. She also has separation anxiety, which our big city vet diagnosed. Seriously, only in Dallas would a vet diagnose a dog with separation anxiety! :-) None the less, we grew to love Maisy, and our 2 dogs became known as The M&M Sisters...

Come to find out, Maisy was good for Molly. And you know what, Maisy was really good for me too! She gave me the unconditional love and attention that I was craving at that time in my life... the type of love that only a dog can give it's owner. She would rest her head on my lap, and would just lay there as long as I needed her to stay with me. She would not move until I made her get up. There were some pretty lonely days for me around that time. Hector was traveling all the time, and I was trying to come to terms with the fact that Hector and I might never have children. The kids in my day care would all be napping, and there I would sit with Maisy, thankful that even though she was just a dog, at least I had her there to keep me company. My sweet Crazy Daisy Head Maisy...

Well, I think you all know how things have turned out since then. Three kids and a new house later, there are some days when I simply wish I did not have 2 dogs to take care of. I'm busy, and some days I don't even say a single word to the dogs. I have felt many times that Molly and Maisy might be better off in a different home, with owners who can devote more time and attention to them - the time and attention they deserve. And Maisy continues to have serious health issues - expensive health issues! Things changed when we had children, and there have been many times when I've had to put off getting medical care for the dogs because the kids needed something more important, and we simply could not afford to do both at the time. Over the past 2 years, I've seen Maisy's health rapidly deteriorate. Maisy's 2 1/2 years younger than Molly, but I honestly don't know if she'll outlive Molly. And just yesterday, I was on the phone with a family member (who shall remain nameless), and she was complaining about her pet, and I just couldn't help but complain about Maisy, and how her vet bills keep adding up, and how much easier things might be around here without Maisy. Horrible, I know! Especially when I tell you this...

It's been raining here for 2 days straight, so our dogs (that normally stay outside during the day) have been inside the house the entire time. This morning at around 10:30, the rain stopped, and I opened the back door to let the dogs outside without really paying attention to the backyard. With the back door wide open, and with me in my nightgown, I turned around towards the kitchen to grab the dog bowls from off the floor. And as I proceeded to pick up their bowls, I realized that Maisy was still inside the house, standing in the doorway in a defensive stance, growling, teeth exposed. I swung around and saw him... a man was in my backyard. And as I stood there motionless, Maisy started barking in the most fierce bark I've ever heard come out of her. She started running towards the man, and the man yelled out "Meter reader. Call off your dog!"

"Maisy, no. Stop! Sit! Stay! GOOOOOOOOOD GIRL, Maisy! Good girl!"

There I stood in my nightgown, dog bowls in hand, feeling completely surprised by what had just happened. The man said that he was glad my dog listened to me (I was too!), and that I was probably glad to have her around. I told him that I am glad to have her around, and that I was also glad that he was the meter reader! I'm still crying, over 2 hours later, at the thought of my sweet Maisy coming to my defense the way she did. She was willing to do whatever she thought she needed to do, in order to protect and save me. I think it's safe to say that in the days, months and hopefully even years to come that Maisy still has life left in her, that I will be coming to her defense as well, doing whatever I need to do in order to protect and save her. Good girl, Maisy! Good girl!

What was I thinking?

It all started when Isaac spilled his Cheerios on the living room rug. That was on Monday morning. I vacuumed them up, and my foot caught the corner of the rug, revealing another mess underneath. I moved the rug and started cleaning there, which made me think that maybe I should just roll up the entire area rug, and sweep the entire living room floor too. So, I did just that. And as I was putting the rug back, I saw that there was a huge area underneath the couch that looked dirty. So, I pushed the couch back up against the wall and swept there too. And if you're thinking to yourself that my house must have been quite a mess, you're right, it was! Just read some of my past entries on here about my desire to clean less... When I was done sweeping the living room, I looked around and saw how open and bright and relaxing and peaceful the living room looked with the couches pushed up against the walls. And that's when I decided to rearrange the living room furniture... And Hector thinks I'm losing it when I tell him things like "Isaac spilled his Cheerios today, so I decided to rearrange the living room furniture." HA! :-)

I thought my little project wouldn't take more than an hour. But when 2:00 p.m. came around, I knew that I was in over my head. I had to stop. I had to go get the kids from school. When Hector got home from work, he asked me why I rearranged the furniture, and I told him that it all started when Isaac spilled his Cheerios. See, I'm not losing it! It all makes perfect sense.....

On Tuesday, I woke up and started moving things around some more. And that's when I realized that the living room rug really didn't look good in the living room. I rolled it up and moved it into the dining room, and then moved the dining room rug into the living room. But in order to get the living room rug into the dining room, I had to move all of the dining room furniture out of the dining room. And in order to move the china cabinet specifically, I had to take everything out of it. And so, today (yes, it's now Thursday) I found myself sitting on the floor in my dining room, cleaning out the rest of the items from my china cabinet, asking myself questions like "What was I thinking?" and "Where did it all go wrong?" and "How did I get myself into such a mess?" as well as saying things to myself such as "So that's where that went!" and "So that's what it looks like behind a piece of furniture I haven't moved in 3 1/2 years." Yep, it was at that point today that I took this picture:

Things were a mess... Eventually, 2:00 rolled around again, and then before I knew it Hector got home from work, again... And when I saw Hector walk in the door I asked him "What was I thinking?" to which he responded "I don't know, but I'm hoping that you can figure it all out on your own!" Deep down, I know he was just kidding.

Recently, someone I know and love has confided in me that their life is a mess. This person can't seem to find their way through the turmoil and confusion surrounding them. This person feels overwhelmed by chaos and disorder. And the more this person tries to get out of the mess, the bigger the mess seems to become. This person has asked me questions like "What was I thinking?" and "Where did it all go wrong?" and "How did I get myself into such a mess?" This person feels alone and scared. This person has been trying to figure it all out on their own, and has come to realize they can't do it by themself.

A really good friend of mine once told me that she thinks God gives us friends to remind us that we're not meant to go through life alone, trying to do everything on our own. I was reminded of this friend's words when this other person confided in me that they felt all alone. We're not meant to go through life by ourselves. And even in the times when we feel alone, we never truly are, because even when we feel like we can't reach out to our earthly friends, we always have the gift of prayer to reach out to our Heavenly friend. It is my sincere hope and prayer that, with the help of God and a few good friends, this person will be able to work through the mess that has become their life, and one day find themself in a bright, open, peaceful, relaxing place that makes them truly happy.