Real Beauty

I received a rather strange compliment yesterday. The man who was my cashier at the grocery store asked me if he could give me a compliment. I won't tell you everything that he said. But the basic gist of what he said was that he thought too many women today aren't real. They have fake hair color, fake hair, fake eye lashes, fake make up, fake tans, fake finger nails, and fake bodies. Those are his words. He told me that my "realness" was beautiful. He went on to say that most men don't want or need women to do all of the things that they do to themselves to try to be beautiful in a fake way. Most men find our real beauty much more beautiful, but they allow us to do everything that we do because they know it makes us feel better about ourselves. Again, those are his words. It kind of caught me off guard. All I could think to say was that my husband likes my "realness" too, and that I'd be sure to tell him when I got home exactly what he'd said to me...

 

After I got home, I started thinking some more about what this man had said to me. You see, I'd ran to the store early that morning in an attempt to beat the Saturday morning grocery store crowd. I was sporting my mommy pony tail, with just enough concealer underneath my puffy morning eyes, with some plain Chapstick on. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans... nothing fancy. Definitely not my best outfit. Was that the real me?

 

I thought about all of the times that Hector has complimented me. I've been blessed with a husband who knows that I like receiving compliments. But when I really dug deep, trying to think about the best, most meaningful compliment Hector has ever given me, I remembered this moment.

This picture was taken after I had been awake for close to 21 hours straight, 16 1/2 hours of which I'd spent in active labor with Samuel. I had a very specific birth plan in mind when I was pregnant with Samuel. My birth plan did not involve going past my due date, nor did it involve having my labor induced because my blood pressure was out of control. It did not involve my baby, after 16 hours of labor, going into distress. It did not involve an epidural. And it also definitely did not end with an emergency c-section. That was not my plan. But as I laid on the operating table, praying that Samuel was safe, waiting to finally meet him, I started to shake and cry. The true weight of everything that had occurred that day swept over me. Over 6 1/2 years of waiting to meet my baby had finally all come to that moment in time. I started to bawl. Deep, uncontrollable, slobbery wails of emotion flowed freely from me. After Samuel was born, Hector went to take this picture. But before he did, I asked him how I looked. He leaned over and kissed me tenderly, and told me that I'd never looked as beautiful to him as I looked at that moment. And he meant it. 

 

No make up. Red, swollen eyes. Wearing that awful hospital gown. Holding our miracle.

 

Can you think of a time in your life when you have received a truly meaningful compliment? Was it at a time when you were all dressed up, when your hair was perfect, and your make up was flawless? Or was it at a time when you were having a completely "real" moment in your life? Perhaps it's time for me to rethink what my definition of real beauty is.

 

Patty

1987

Twenty-five years ago today, that sixteen-year-old boy on the right took that fifteen-year-old girl on the left out on their first date.  After the date, he asked her to be his girlfriend.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

Stories from where?

Some of you may find this equally as interesting as Hector and I have found it...

 

As most of you know, Samuel is attending a charter school through the public school system.  When he first started attending this school several weeks ago, he was reading Charlotte's Web for his Literature class.  But two weeks ago, he was assigned to read a story out of a book entitled Stories From the Bible.  From where?  Yes, the Bible.  Two weeks ago he read the story of Ruth and Naomi.  Interesting...   Last week, he was assigned to read the story of David and Goliath.  Even more interesting...

 

So, tonight I clicked on his curriculum list for the upcoming school week, and I saw that I had this message attached to the Literature lesson for the week:

 

Lesson Notes

A distinction needs to be made between, on one hand, teaching the Bible as a guide to belief, and, on the other hand, teaching stories from the Bible as literature. Teaching the Bible as a guide to belief is a religious task that belongs to the family (if the family so chooses) or the church. Teaching stories from the Bible as literature—which is the goal of these lessons—is an educational task intended to promote cultural literacy. As E. D. Hirsch, Jr. explains in

The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy (2nd edition, Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1993), “No one in the English-speaking world can be considered literate without a basic knowledge of the Bible.” Stories, characters, and expressions from the Bible are woven into the fabric of English, in everything from a sportscaster’s casual allusion to an uneven match as a “David and Goliath contest” to the poetry of Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Milton.

Like I said, I find it very interesting how the school has worked this into the curriculum.  Yet another reason that I am loving this new school.

Change

After weeks of trying to decide how to begin this post, I have come to realize that the best way to share this news is to simply come right out with it...

A few weeks ago, Samuel had his last day at the school he has attended since Kindergarten.  He was accepted into a wonderful charter school that allows him to take classes online, at home.  This new charter school is providing Samuel with a home-based public school education.  He follows the same curriculum as other students in traditional public schools.  He has teachers who conduct webinars of his classes, and Samuel, along with all of his other classmates, attend online classes daily.  He has monthly field trips with all of the children in his class.  And so far, things have been going really well!

This was not a decision that we made lightly.  It was a decision made with a lot of prayer, and tears, and heavy hearts and minds.  For several years now, we knew that Samuel was not thriving in his current school setting.  It had nothing to do with the school, or the teachers, or the staff.  It had to do with the fact that not every kid fits inside a box.  And it had everything to do with the fact that ultimately we needed to find something for Samuel that was going to be the very best educational experience long-term for him.

So, I get to be at home during the day, all alone, with just Samuel now.  This is something that I have not experienced in years.  I was scared at first.  I can admit it.  But it has been amazing!  I get to discuss literature with him.  We talk about great pieces of art.  We talk about why learning how to add and subtract numbers with decimals in them will serve him well later in life, like when he has to pay for things or make change.  But honestly, the absolute coolest thing for me has been seeing the transformation that has been occurring in my son.  The shyness and anxiety and uncertainty is slowly fading.  And this really smart, confident kid is starting to come out.  I have seen the sparkle return to his eyes.

I've had so many wonderful moments in the past few weeks that have affirmed for me that we made the right decision for Samuel.  I am truly thankful for each gift of affirmation that I have received.  It's not always easy to make such a big change.  I struggled with feelings of doubt at first as to whether or not we were making the right decision.  And I struggled with whether or not I should write this blog.  But ultimately I decided to write it because I know that so many of you reading this have listened to me for many years now talk about Samuel and school.  You've listened to me.  You've offered your prayers, your advise, and your words of encouragement.  It has all been tremendously helpful, and greatly appreciated.

Embracing the change,
Patty

My Hero

Avery asked me yesterday if I knew what the coolest thing about her Grandpa is. To Avery, the coolest thing about her Grandpa is that he had a choice... a choice to stand up for what was right, to fight for freedom, and to help other people, or to do nothing. Avery said that she was happy that her Grandpa made the right choice, because when he did, he became her hero.

 

To my children's Grandpa, I say thank you. Thank you for your service to our country. And thank you for being a hero to us all.