Quote of the Month

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Girl Talk

Last week, I went to my Ob/Gyn and got some not-so-great news. I have a type of recurrent ovarian cyst that I've dealt with in the past, and it seems to be causing me problems yet again. I had a cyst removed in 1996 when Hector and I were trying to start our family. And I had cysts removed during all 3 of my c-sections. When I was pregnant with Isaac, my doctor told me that he more than likely would need to remove the ovary too along with the cyst when Isaac's c-section was performed. But at that point in my reproductive life, I just simply was not ready to have that done. So I begged him to try to save the ovary, which he did. After Isaac was born though, my doctor warned me to be aware of the typical symptoms I had experienced in the past when a cyst was forming and growing, because a cyst would eventually start to form again.

So here I am, 3 1/2 years later, completely shocked that another cyst has formed. I don't know why I'm shocked, but it took me by complete surprise when a sonogram last week revealed it's presence. Maybe I was shocked because I've not had any of the typical symptoms like I had in the past. Regardless, my doctor told me that this time the cyst has formed on my right ovary. They've always formed on the left ovary in the past. She thinks this might be due to the fact that my left ovary is "shutting down" due to all the scar tissue that's formed from having multiple cysts removed 4 times in the past. So the cysts are now starting to form on my right, "healthy" ovary. Not good...

When I got the phone call from the doctor's office, I was told that my doctor wanted me to have the surgery done immediately to remove the cyst, but I asked for more time. I'm not sure why I asked for more time. But my doctor asked me to get some blood work done this coming Friday to make sure that the cyst is not poisoning my system. If my blood work comes back normal, I can go ahead and wait 6 more weeks. But if the blood work comes back abnormal, she will recommend I get the surgery to remove the cyst (and possibly one or both of my ovaries) within a few days after that.

But, as I am an eternal optimist, I am assuming that the blood work will be normal. So I have gone ahead and scheduled my next sonogram for Monday, November 8, at 8:30 a.m., at which point I will need to tell the doctor what I want to happen; surgery to remove just the cyst and have the doctor try to save my ovaries, or surgery to just go ahead and remove the cyst along with my ovaries. If I decide to have just the cyst removed, there is the possibility that once the doctor gets in there, she might need to take one or both of my ovaries anyway. Of course, having the surgery to just remove the cyst even if I get to keep both of my ovaries will mean that I will be looking at having yet another surgery within the next few years, because a new cyst will almost inevitably, eventually form.

Needless to say, all this talk about ovaries and reproductive craziness has stirred up some questions and emotions within me that I simply don't want to deal with right now. I don't do well under pressure or under time restrictions, especially when it involves making potentially permanent, life-altering decisions. But as I've learned in the past, nothing is REALLY up to me. My life is in God's hands, and He has taught me in the past (especially when it comes to all this reproductive stuff) that He is definitely in control (even though from time to time, I like to try to fool myself by thinking that I am the one in control).

So, for now I would humbly request your prayers for good lab blood work results (I would assume that I will get those results some time early next week). And for guidance and clarity of thought as I try to make an informed, rational (unemotional) decision about the future of my ovaries (which may wind up not being my ultimate decision at all). But here again, I'm going to try my hardest to at least act like I have some control in this matter... :-)

Thank you, my dearest family members and friends.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Wish Lists

Several years ago, I started a little "tradition" in our family. Every year right before Christmas and then again in the summer time right before Samuel's and Avery's birthdays, I have the kids go through their toys and collect everything they no longer want or play with. The basic concept is that since they are about to receive more toys, they should get rid of the toys they don't play with all that much first. Then I make a point to take the toys to a women's shelter and give them away to the children there. Most (if not all) of the toys are in near perfect condition. You know, it's those awesome toys that they simply had to have, and then they never got played with?



The first time I did this with the kids, I did it out of a shear lack of space for the new toys they were about to get. We lived in an 1100 sq. ft. house at the time. We needed to get rid of some things before bringing more stuff into the house. The kids did NOT want to get rid of some of their things. They didn't understand why they had to do it. But they were young toddlers, so of course they struggled with it. The second time was a little easier. And now, here we are some 6 years later, and it's a piece of cake for my kids. They've learned how to go into their rooms and pick out the items they want to give away, and they completely understand that the toys are going to children in need.



So today, Avery asked if she could have a specific toy for Christmas. And she told me that she wanted to get together a Christmas wish list. The girl is ALWAYS thinking ahead... I told her that she could absolutely start a wish list, but that she knew what needed to happen first.

About 15 minutes later, she came out of her room with all of this:


We give in other ways throughout the year as well. Just this past summer, we donated close to 12 bags of clothing to the women's shelter as well. But this is just one way that I have tried to instill a giving spirit in my children, while also helping them to be aware of the fact that they have so much, but there are children in our community who have nothing.



If you're looking for ways to give back this upcoming holiday season, I would encourage you to contact a local women's shelter and simply ask what might be on some of the women and children's wish lists this year.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Reading Vocabulary

Reading Vocabulary... Uggggg! Where do I even begin?



Avery's in 2nd Grade. She's doing great in school. But things just don't always come as easily for Avery in school as they do for Samuel. And this is where my frustration begins for my poor daughter. She's so smart. She got her 3 week progress report sent home last week, and she's making straight As, except for a 74 average in Reading. Arg!



Ask anyone who's spent any amount of time really listening to and talking with Avery, and they will tell you that she has an amazing ability to remember the finest details of a situation. She can remember what someone was wearing on a specific day, how that person looked and what the mood was of their encounter. Her earliest memory is from when she was 18 months old. Hector accidentally caught a little bit of her tummy in the zipper of her flannel pajamas. Almost exactly a year later, we were in our new house, and Hector went to zip up a new pair of pajamas, and Avery started screaming about how she didn't want Hector to zip up her tummy like he had before in the other house. We both just stood there, shocked... She remembers names too, which is a gift that I wish I possessed. When Avery was 3, she broke her collar bone. In the ER, I couldn't go into the x-ray room with her because I was pregnant with Isaac, so I had to call Hector to come to the ER from work. Months later, our entire family was going to see my sonogram done for Isaac at the hospital, and Avery asked me if I thought Scott would be there. Who's Scott? She proceeded to tell me that he worked at the hospital and was wearing a white shirt, white pants and white tennis shoes that day. You know, Scott? And that's when Hector told me that in the midst of all of her own pain, Avery asked the lab technician what his name was, and whether or not he was scared. His name was Scott, and no, he wasn't scared. Scott, the lab technician who comforted my daughter in a time when she was scared and in pain. And she remembered his name and what he was wearing. But while Avery's ability to remember a name and a face and the mood of a situation is simply amazing in my opinion, it doesn't really help her all that much in school.




Some of you may remember that I blogged about the 2nd Grade Reading Vocabulary words last school year when Samuel was in 2nd Grade. This is a list of words that gets sent home on Friday. The student is supposed to memorize the list of 20 words over the weekend, and should be able to read them to the teacher on Tuesday at school, while also possessing a general knowledge of what the words mean. Samuel struggled with them a bit. But if he could read through them once with my help, by the 2nd time, he could read through them on his own.

Poor Avery... I suppose it doesn't help that her birthday falls during the last week of the school year, so she is one of the youngest children in the class. And she really doesn't like to read either. She loves to be read to, and she loves to talk about what the people in the book are wearing and feeling (sigh), but she doesn't like to do the reading herself. I read to her every night in bed. We are a reading family. So, 2 weeks ago on Friday the Reading Vocabulary list came home and I started going over them with her that same night. By Monday night, she was doing really well with the list. She only missed 2 words the next day when she read them aloud to her teacher. But this past Friday night, this is the list that came home from school:

These words have left both of us feeling defeated. She read through the words twice on Friday, 4 times on Saturday and 4 times yesterday, and she's still missing half of them. She can't remember the SH sound in machines. Europe completely throws her for a loop. And you can just forget about successful, canals (which she pronounces Can-Les), and earned (which she pronounces Ear-Ned).



I feel frustrated for her. It's not like she's not trying. She is! So here's my dilemma. You will notice that I have not signed the paper yet. Signing the paper "means you have gone over the words and your child can read them." Do I sign the paper tonight if she can't read all of the words to me? Do I sign it but also send an email to the teacher, so that at least she will know that Avery's trying? What do I do?



On a funny side note, last night at dinner Avery was reading through her list and when she came to the word earned, she stopped and said "Agh!" out of frustration. And Samuel said in a totally joking voice, "Wow, that's cool that agh is one of your reading vocabulary words." We all couldn't stop laughing...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

These little piggies...

...turned black. Yes folks, what you are about to read is not only true, it's also kind-of gross.


Once upon a time, I bought an exercise DVD through Amazon. When I got it in the mail, I started doing it the very next Monday because I was so excited to get started. Here's the basic idea of this exercise program. You start out on level 1, the "easy" (honestly, it's intense) level of exercise. You do 20 minutes of intense aerobic and muscle strengthening activities each day for 10 days on level 1. There's jumping jacks, jogging in place, weight lifting, and so on. After 10 days, you bump up to level 2. You do level 2 (a more strenuous routine) for 10 days, then you bump up to level 3 (the hardest routine) and do that for 10 days. So in 30 days, you can expect to be healthier, more toned, and yes, you can also expect to lose up to 20 pounds along the way. Sounded great to me! Sign me up!


I took measurements and weighed myself before I started the program. Level 1 was tough, but I stayed with it. After the first 10 days, I measured and weighed myself again. I'd lost 5 pounds in 10 days and had lost 6 inches all over my body. I was thrilled! So, I bumped myself up to level 2 the next day. Level 2 was Intense with a capital I. I couldn't do most of the exercise moves. And my body ached when I was done. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. Everything hurt. But I stayed with it. Still, after several days on level 2, I noticed that my aches and pains weren't going away, they were getting worse. After about 2 weeks of trying to muster my way through level 2, I had to stop. It was just too intense for me, and my body was so sore, so I went back to level 1.


In the midst of all this exercising, I was painting my toenails one day and noticed a small black splotch on one of my toenails. It looked like a bruise, but I couldn't for the life of me remember how or when I'd bumped my toe on anything. It didn't hurt. It just looked unattractive. So, I covered it up with the polish, assuming it would heal and go away, and just went about my normal business. About 2 weeks later, I noticed that some of the polish on another toe had chipped off, and that toe nail looked bruised too. I removed all of the polish from all my toe nails, and was horrified to see that both of my big toe nails were black. Hector was on the computer at the time and I told him to stop whatever it was he was doing, and to Google "Causes of black toe nails."


Now folks, I want you to know that with just about anything in life, there are pros and cons to Googling things. Pro: You have easy access to tons of information. Con: You have easy access to tons of information...


Through my Google "research" I determined that I possibly had 1 of 4 things (way to narrow it down for me there, Google!):


1) Melanoma

2) Diabetes

3) A fungal infection

4) Bruising of the nail bed caused by strenuous exercise, very common in runners and people who do crazy amounts of aerobic activity...


Hmmmm..... I will admit that I seriously considered the possibility that I had either #1 or #2. And while none of those options really seemed all that great to me, I've got to tell you, I was REALLY routing for #4 to be the cause of my black toe nails. Needless to say, I couldn't sleep that night. Too many thoughts of things I should have done differently or could have done differently in my life were running through my mind. If I just would have worn sunscreen more often, or maybe if I just would have lost the "baby weight" sooner.

Well, I made an appointment with my doctor the next day. And I've got to say, I was thrilled when she told me that she seriously thought it was #4, and that while she applauds my efforts to lose weight and get healthy, perhaps I should consider doing something a bit less strenuous. I agreed with her.

So, I will say goodbye to The 30 Day Shred. I can't even allow myself to focus on the irony of this situation (it feels like no matter what I try to do to lose weight and get healthy, something always gets in the way). I have a new found disdain for Jillian Michaels, and I am blaming her fully for my black toe nails... It's ALL her fault! And she, along with her exercise program, have now been placed on the "Permanently Banned From My Life" list. Oh yeah, there's a list...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts running through my brain this morning...


I am the Co-Leader of Avery's Brownie Troop. The Leader and I are taking the girls in the troop camping this weekend. Camping with 5 young girls doesn't concern me, mainly because we'll be with several other troops, and we have a cabin with ac/heat and electricity. We are a bunch of females, after all. What does concern me is the fact that the woman in charge of coordinating this camp out is bringing her 4 year old daughter camping with us. Earlier in the week, she sent out several emails to all of the Leaders and Co-Leaders, reminding all of us about the policies, procedures, rules and regulations that we need to follow while on the camping trip. We all had to sign a waiver saying that we promise to abide by these rules. Mind you, these are rules that she helped to put in place. The purpose of this camping trip is to teach girls and leaders who've never been camping before how to camp. So on the rules it clearly states that there will be no siblings or "tag-alongs" or children under the age of 5 permitted. Yet, she's bringing her 4 year old daughter with her.



I am a rule follower. This bothers me, especially because I have been around her 4 year old, and she is not a well behaved child be any stretch of the imagination. I am highly concerned that this leader won't be able to truly focus on the people who PAID to go on this camping trip to LEARN, because she will be so focused on her 4 year old. I mean, at our last awards ceremony, the entire event started almost 20 minutes late because she was in the bathroom with her daughter who was throwing an all-out fit, to the point where she tore her mom's shirt on purpose out of anger. Hundreds of people, all gathered into the church where we were all waiting for the awards ceremony to begin, and she's in the bathroom trying to get her daughter to stop throwing a fit. Trust me, I have a high maintenance daughter. I FEEL her pain! But if it were me, if I couldn't find a sitter to watch my child, I simply would not go camping. I think the real problem here is that this mother has truly over committed herself and should be focusing her attention on her child, but is instead focusing on other things that are far less important. But that's just my own 2 cents on the matter.



So, do I:


1) Take the high road and just let it go and say nothing?

2) See how it goes this weekend and say something only if this situation turns out to not be a positive one?

OR

3) Write an email now before we go, telling her superior what's going on, and that if she's bringing her daughter I'm bringing my 3 year old son and my 2 year old dog camping with us too?

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I love this time of year, and all of the smells, sights, sounds and tastes that come along with it.

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Should I be concerned that Isaac calls this his "kill medium?"
Or should I simply be impressed that he knows (and is trying to pronounce) it's a chameleon?


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Speaking of that chameleon... I have a lot of Beanie Babies. I finally decided that it was time to sell them, so I went onto eBay and started doing some research. Come to find out, it looks like everyone else on the planet has also decided that it's time to sell their Beanie Babies. There were 1665 pages of Beanies for sale on eBay, most of which were selling for a penny. A PENNY... I figured out that I have close to 500 Beanies (I know, I know...). Some of them were gifts. The others were bought over the course of several years. Each one cost anywhere from $6 - $10. I'm thinking that instead of selling them, I'll just continue to let Isaac play "zoo" with them. They have more "value" to him as toys than they do to me as a collector's item.

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These wee wee pads for dogs give off a smell that is supposed to attract your dog to do their business on the wee wee pad. I've used them in the past when I was house breaking Molly and Maisy when they were puppies, and they worked great. I suppose they would still work great if my senior adult dog could still smell and therefore would be inclined to actually do her business on the wee wee pad. But since she can not smell, she is not inclined in any way, shape or form, to do her business on the wee wee pad. In fact, she usually sleeps on the wee wee pad, and when she gets up she will do her business right next to the wee wee pad. Grrr...

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I want this bike.

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Isaac is short, amongst other things. And I say that with all the love in my heart. Two weeks ago he decided that he no longer wants to sit down when he's going potty. He wants to stand up when he goes potty, because he wants to be a big boy like Samuel. This would be fine, if Isaac could actually reach the toilet. So he stands on a stool, but he's so wobbly it makes me extremely nervous. Plus, he has horrible aim. I never thought I would cringe when I heard the words, "Oops, Mama." Seriously, I cringe when he says those 2 little words. I'd also like to add that I now know the real purpose of bathroom mats... If my bathroom mats make it through this stage, I will be extremely surprised.

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Why is it that it either doesn't rain for months and my yard gets all brown and crunchy and everything dies in it, OR it rains for days on end and everything in my yard gets flooded? Can't there be a happy medium? I'm a happy medium kind of gal...