Don't Stop Believin'... My Journey to a Healthier, Happier Self

It was a Thursday morning. As I sat in my doctor's office, I wondered how I'd gotten to the point where I was at. But there I sat, knowing what my doctor was probably going to say before he ever said it. Up until that point in my life, I didn't feel like my health was all that bad. But over the few months leading up to that point, I had noticed some things about my health that were starting to concern me. I watched my doctor come into the room and sit down across from me. And then, he gave me some unsettling news. I had high blood pressure. I also had a hiatal hernia. I was pre-diabetic. And he suspected that I also had Sleep Apnea (a fact that was later confirmed by a sleep study). But the biggest and hardest pill to swallow was the fact that these health problems were all a result of my being overweight. It was difficult to hear. It was embarrassing. It was frightening.

My doctor went on to tell me that if I didn't change something soon, a whole new world of health issues were more than likely about to start creeping up on me. He asked me if I knew how many years I was knocking off of my life, by being "morbidly obese." Those two words punched such a powerful blow. They cut through me like a sharp blade, leaving me wounded. The thought of losing 10 years or more of my life, the life that I had made with my husband and my kids, well, I still cry when I think about it. And quite frankly, it was exactly the kick in the pants that I needed.  

Call it a light bulb moment. Call it an awakening. Call it an epiphany. Call it whatever you want. The bottom line is that something clicked that day. Somewhere along this journey called life, I stopped believing. I stopped believing in myself. I stopped believing that I was worth it. I stopped believing that it mattered. I stopped believing that I could do something about it and be successful because I'd tried so many times before then, and failed. I stopped believing that I could achieve anything through Christ who promised to be there for me... who promised that He would be my greatest source of strength.

I wish that I could've had that moment long before that point. But I believe that sometimes, well, sometimes we just have to hit our own personal low point, our own personal rock bottom, before we can begin to climb our way back up and out of the dark abyss that surrounds us. That day, in my doctor's office, was my rock bottom. 

I went home and finally admitted to myself the harsh reality of it all. I believe from the depths of my soul that food had become an addiction for me. Admitting that fact released me from the heavy burden I'd been carrying around for so long, and it was a huge step in the right direction towards my recovery. 

And so, I swallowed my pride and asked for help, and finally acknowledged that I couldn't do it on my own. I decided to take back my health. To take back my life! To start believing in myself again! I prepared myself for battle. I armed myself with scripture, and prayer, and a support team. I saw a nutritionist and a counselor. I gave up several unhealthy things in my life. And I replaced them with positive, healthy things.

Several people have asked me along the way what I have specifically done to lose weight because they are struggling to lose weight too. I can tell you all what I did. But here's the key to all of this, and what it took me YEARS to figure out... It doesn't matter what I did. The only thing that matters is what you're willing to do for yourself. What are you willing to do, to REALLY do for yourself, long-term? Figuring that out, then doing it with all of your heart, mind, body and soul, is the key to success!

For me, this journey has been full of reflection and growth. Personal growth. And healing. And learning how to believe in myself again. To believe in what I am capable of achieving. It's also been a year of loss. Good loss. The best kind of loss...

This is me, right before I started on this journey...

And this is me today, the day I reached my weight loss goal, 100 pounds freer! Off my blood pressure medication. No longer sleeping with a CPap (Sleep Apnea breathing machine). No longer pre-diabetic. YES!!!

My journey is not over. But for now, I feel so blessed that I have been given a second chance... a chance to take back control of my life and my health. To set a good example for my children. To prove to myself that I can do all things through Christ who is my greatest source of strength. Thank you all for your love, support, kind words, encouragement and compliments. It has kept me going on this long journey to a healthier, happier me!