My Heart

Earlier this morning, as the clouds rolled in and the rain began to come down, Isaac came up to me and asked if we could read a book together.  He ran and grabbed one from his room, and we sat down on the sofa together to read it.  After we read the book, he climbed up into my lap, and put his head down on my chest.  We sat there for a minute, with me rubbing his back, listening to the rain outside. He finally picked up his head and said, "I'm so glad that we were home today so that I could listen to your heart. That's how I know you love me."

Over the past few months, I've made a lot of difficult decisions regarding my daily life and how exactly I wanted to spend my time.  Several different things came into my life... things I couldn't avoid... things that I had to do...  things that demanded my time and attention.  I found myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off, always feeling frazzled, always feeling overwhelmed.  Because for everything that I had to do, there were just as many other things in my daily life that were consuming way too much of my time that I simply knew in my heart that I did not need to do... things I needed to let go of.  And so, I took a long, hard look at my daily life.  And I let go...

Over the past 11 years, I've let many great opportunities with my children slip by because I was too busy doing other things.  Some of those things couldn't have been avoided.  But many more of them could have been.  I can't go back.  I can't change those things.  Nor would I want to.  They've molded me and made me the mom that I am today.

In just a few short months, my "baby" will go off to Kindergarten, and a new phase of my life as a Mommy will begin.  I will probably have more "free time" than I will know what to do with.  I'm sure that I will have plenty of time for me to be ALL BY MYSELF to do whatever I want.  No children at home asking me for anything throughout the day.

I'm so glad that I slowed down now.  I'm so glad that I was at home today for Isaac to listen to my heart.  I'm so glad that he knows how much I love him.  Listen, sweet boy.  Listen to my heart.  And know just how deeply you are loved.