And in the end...

As many of you already know, the past few months have not been easy for me and my family. We have struggled with a lot of difficult things. And when I say a lot, I really do mean a lot... Have you ever heard of the list of the Top 10 Biggest Causes of Stress for Adults? Here's the list:

1) Death of a spouse

2) Divorce

3) New marriage

4) Injury or illness

5) Marital problems

6) Moving

7) Death of a relative or close friend

8) Loss of job

9) Financial problems

10) Retirement


Over the past 5 months, we have experienced 5 out of 10 things on that list.

#4 on the list... Isaac fell at a park on Palm Sunday and had a serious injury to his mouth, which required a trip to the ER and 3 subsequent trips to the dentist.

# 7 on the list... In March, we lost a dear friend from high school to Cystic Fibrosis. And 2 months later, her father passed away from brain cancer.

#8 on the list... I lost my job tutoring a little girl after school because her father lost his job. Then about a month later, Hector lost his job, which in turn brought about #9 on the list. And if I'm being completely honest, the loss of income and the financial problems that came with it didn't really help with the already-shaky areas of #5 on the list.

Add to all of that the fact that my dog Maisy lost her 9 month battle with cancer. Saying goodbye to Maisy was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's been 3 months, and I still miss her and think about her daily. And now my other dog Molly (who's 91 years old in human years) is honestly depressed from the loss of her "sister." Her health is deteriorating rapidly and she is fading, and I fear that I will be saying goodbye to her sooner than later.

I'd really love to be able to say that I've handled all of these stressful situations with grace and dignity, with my faith remaining unshakable the entire time while I also maintained a sense of focus and perspective that my problems were somewhat trivial to what others in the world are suffering through. But I am human, and flawed, and I rarely handle stress in a positive or constructive manner even when I'm trying to deal with only 1 stressful thing. And so I cried, I threw fits, I yelled at everyone in my home and then I yelled at God, I took long walks in the freezing snow and pouring rain just to be by myself and yell at God some more, and then I would eat (gosh, I especially hate that part of all of this). And when I hit the lowest point and I didn't know what else to do or say or what to pray for anymore, I started to reach out to my friends and family, and they were there for me. They said what I couldn't say. They prayed what I couldn't pray. They gave me the words that kept me going. Email after email, letter after letter, phone call after phone call, my wonderful friends and family gave me these words:

"When peace like a river attendeth my way. When sorrows like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul."

"The Lord your God will always be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. So do not fear anything or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:6-8

"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go." Joshua 1:9

"The Lord if my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

"Trust in the Lord, and he will grant you the desires of your heart. Trust in him, and he will do this for you. Be still before the Lord, and wait on him." Psalm 37:3-5

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and let no harm come to you. Plans to give you a future full of hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

"So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you." Isaiah 41:10

"Your father knows what you need before you ever ask it. So do not worry. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. And all these things will be given to you. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:8b, 31-34

"The sufferings of today are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us tomorrow. For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." Romans 8:18, 28

"Do not worry about anything. But in everything, through prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind." Philippians 4:6-7

"God, hear my cry; listen to my prayers. I call out to you from the ends of the earth when I am afraid, and you carry me away to the highest mountain. You are my protection." Psalm 61:1

"Have mercy on me, God. Have mercy on me because I need your protection. Let me hide under the shadow of your wings until this trouble had passed." Psalm 57:1

Through God, you gave me those words. You prayed for me when I could no longer pray. You encouraged me when I could no longer do that for myself. And through that, I finally was able to let go of all of the stress and negativity in my life. I laid it all at the foot of the cross, and asked Christ to take this heavy load from me. And he did just that. He took it all from me. He took the pain and the stress and the fear from my heart. And he filled it back up with love and forgiveness and strength and peace.

And in the end.... Well, in the end God did exactly what he promised he would do. He took care of me. He took care of my family. He never left me. He never gave up on me. He held my hand the entire time. I am humbled. And every time I think about this great big world, filled with so much hurt and pain, and the fact that God was there for me every step of the way, well that just makes me feel even more humbled. I am blessed. And I can honestly say that my marriage is stronger today than it's been in years. Spending the past few months with my husband has proven to be a true blessing from God. We were given the gift of time to be alone together, to reconnect and rebuild our marriage. And I'm thrilled to share the news that Hector received a wonderful job offer yesterday, which truly is a huge answers to prayers; our prayers and your prayers on our behalf. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

"Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted to us in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:11