The Roller Coaster

Samuel and Avery are doing really well in school. I have their first 6 weeks progress reports to prove it! :-) All of their hard work as students for 6 full weeks is all right there. In Kindergarten, they get checks (satisfactory) and minuses (needs improvement). Avery got checks in every category. The categories Avery was "graded" on include.... Listens and follows directions, completes homework assignments on time, puts forth effort in class, avoids excessive talking, is courteous and respectful of others, demonstrates appropriate behavior, and works neatly. That last one kind of throws me for a loop, since my daughter is a lefty and I've seen her writing. :-) At the very bottom of the progress report, it has a space for teacher comments, and the teacher wrote "I am enjoying getting to know Avery. She is a joy to have in my class."

Avery's Kindergarten Photo

In First Grade, the students get either an E (excellent, grades of 90 - 100), S+ (satisfactory plus, grades of 85 - 89), S (satisfactory, grades of 77 - 84), S- (satisfactory low, grades of 70 - 76), or N (non mastery/needs improvement). Samuel got an E in Reading, S+ in Grammar, E in Math, S in Handwriting, S in Social Studies, S+ in Science, S in P.E., S in Art and Music, and S in Spanish. When I was trying to explain to Samuel what the E and S mean, all he wanted to know was whether or not he got checks (like he got in Kindergarten). And even though I tried to explain to Samuel that he no longer gets checks, that's all he wanted to know. So, I finally told him that yes indeed, he got all checks! Under the teacher comments, his teacher wrote "Samuel is a pleasure to teach." Ah, that's very nice!

Starting in 1st grade, parents have access to a website through the school district that allows them to see exactly what grades their child is earning in school. It's updated every Friday, and I have found it to be very helpful. I went on to the website and saw that Samuel made an 85 on his Science Test last week. He made a 102 on his math test! I also saw that Samuel seems to be getting a lot of grades in the 70s on tests in his grammar class.... I emailed his teacher and asked what was going on, and she told me that the entire class gets tested on things like using punctuation correctly, using upper and lower case letters correctly, and leaving space in between words and sentences. It seems that Samuel forgets to put a period on his sentences and he also forgets to capitalize letters when needed. And I'm not trying to justify any of that, because ultimately Samuel needs to know those things. But in the grand scheme of things, I'm not so sure that I'm going to worry about him getting 70s in that class. I mean, overall he did earn a S+ in Grammar. And Samuel's teacher was so nice about it when she was explaining why Samuel earned 70s on those tests. She wrote in her email that "Samuel is a very smart young man and he is doing very well! He is really coming out of his shell with the other kids and always wants to help and answer questions! I have enjoyed watching him help others and making friends! Oh, and his school pics are adorable!"

Well, we think they're adorable too:

Samuel's 1st Grade Photo

And finally, the little girl I tutor after school (Amanda) is in 4th grade, and she gets grades on her progress report! None of this checks, minuses, E, S stuff...... Nope, she gets real grades from the very beginning! She is working so hard, and it is paying off. I can see that she is starting to get some confidence in herself and her abilities, which means more to me than you could possibly imagine. When I opened up her progress report yesterday after school, I asked her how she thought she did, and she told me that she didn't know. And when I saw her grades, I told her that she really didn't do good..... she did great! You should have seen the smile on her face. It was thrilling for me to see her smile like that. She earned 3 As and 4 Bs. Two weeks ago she came to my house with a test paper that she'd made a 50 on. It was particularly upsetting to me when I found out that it was an open book test, and she simply did not feel like doing it, so she hurried through it and guessed what the answers were. When I saw that 50, I talked to her and told her that a grade like that is simply unacceptable, because I know she is better than that. I told her that it is my hope and prayer that one day she will also know that she is better than that.

I came up with a motto for her last year, and we say it to each other all the time: "Always do your best, and never settle for the rest." I tell Amanda that every chance I get. I also tell her "Don't guess it, KNOW IT!" because I want her to be confident in her answers. She really likes that one. :-) I've said those 2 things to her more times that I can count, but I think she's finally getting it! I think she's finally starting to understand what I've been trying to tell her for over a year now. I can see it in her eyes that something has changed within herself. She wants to do her best, and she is doing her best.

Have you ever seen the movie Parenthood? There's a scene in that movie where Steve Martin's character (Gil) is complaining to his wife (played by Mary Steenburgen) about how complicated and difficult his life is, and in the middle of the scene the grandmother wonders into the room. She interrupts Gil and says "You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. It was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing... I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."

That is one of the best metaphors for parenthood that I have ever heard. And while I am not Amanda's parent, I feel like I have been on a roller coaster ride with her over the past year. I have come to love this child, but it took me a while to get here, and in the past there were many times when I wanted to get off the roller coaster ride that I felt like I was on with her. I wanted to go on the merry-go-round instead. But ultimately, I knew that if I got off, Amanda would have to stay on the roller coaster ride by herself. And even though there have been times when I have felt so exhausted and worn down from the constant bumps and bruises of the ride, I am so glad that I stayed on it with her! I finally feel like she and I are moving past our fear of the ride, and into a place within ourselves where we can both enjoy the ride. I've been on a few roller coaster rides in my life, and if there's anything I've learned about them it's that once you get over your fear of the ride itself, that's when the fun really begins! I like the roller coaster... I've gotten so much out of it!